I know I have been very wishy washy about Suboxone being J’s answer. However, I am coming around to my faithful reader Jeff’s way of thinking. J has been clean for 3 months. I think it is working because he wants it to work. He seems highly motivated not to use and I think the Suboxone just aids in that resolve. We have had a few issues with trying a new substance but even that has been short lived when confronted. Xanax is not his friend. He has a doctor who will prescribe it and I want to hurt him….I mean literally I could punch him.
J has always been able to drink and not abuse it. I know red flags and bright lights are screaming from all my readers but J can drink at anytime…he has access to beer and wine everyday. I have only seen him have a beer or two at a restaurant every once in awhile. I have not seen him drunk since he was a teenager. J seems to be very singular in his addiction and I feel very lucky about that but maybe I am just kidding myself. My gut tells me alcohol is never going to be a DOC for him. I think Xanax is very appealing to J because he can sleep so soundly. Xanax I worry about. I have noticed that as a commonality between all of our addicts…this inability to sleep easily or soundly.
Jeff left a link in comments to a great article http://projects.huffingtonpost.com/dying-to-be-free-heroin-treatment . It is very long but totally worth reading. It certainly mirrors my thoughts on 12 Step Programs and other things. Suboxone can and has been a miracle for some. In the past it was not at ALL effective for J. He used Subs as currency to trade for opiates or to sell for money to buy more opiates. Suboxone is a HIGHLY sought after drug. What’s different right now is that J wants it to work. It’s that simple. So right now I pray every night that he continues to want sobriety. I no longer look at Suboxone as a temporary solution until he can find real sobriety. For J this is REAL sobriety. He is my son…the bright, handsome, intelligent young man I love. Now, if he can find a job or dare I say it: a career. Oh how dangerous this feels. Hope breathes again…hope is scary. Hope is wonderful!
PS…Please remind me of this lovely feeling if this all falls apart….again.
I want to add that there are a lot of bloggers out there going through some very difficult and challenging times. Please visit some of the blogs in my blog roll. Parents of addicts are not always able or willing to communicate what’s going on. I have total respect for that, but I know it would mean a lot if we supported with some kind words and hope for their addict.