I hope I don’t regret these words…

I don’t want to thumb my nose at sobriety….but what good is it if you don’t do anything with it? I mean literally just existing with no purpose or goal.

I still feel like he is looking for someone to fix his life. When will he discover that only he has that power?


About madyson007

I am a mom of 4 who thought she was home free when my oldest son went off to college. My serious blunder? Genetics and being naive or maybe just plain stupid.
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6 Responses to I hope I don’t regret these words…

  1. Annette says:

    Not using drugs is only the tip of the iceberg. They have eliminated the symptom by stopping their drug use. Now they have to figure out how to live. The beginning, and I mean the first year or two is so raw and uncomfortable for them. Be patient. Jobs, school, being a productive citizen at the level that we have always expected is a long way off, if ever.

  2. Connie says:

    I agree with Annette. This emphasizes the difference between “getting clean” and “living in recovery.” Recovery is about a full living process, change in thinking, spiritual and relational development. Choosing not to use is just the beginning.

  3. DC says:

    When they are in addiction there is learned helplessness – we do for them what they should be doing for themselves. Undoing this dysfunction is key to their recovery.

  4. andrewsmother says:

    It will take them a long time to find their way.
    At least, he now has a chance to find that way to live a productive fulfilled life.
    From what I hear, working at sobriety is the hardest work he will ever do.
    Every day is a struggle that takes all his energy.
    The way I see it, if my son is up all night playing video games and sleeps all day, he is doing what he can to avoid a life of drugs.
    And I pray for patience as we wait for the day that they wake up and have the energy to pursue a more productive life.

  5. Patricia says:

    Every time I complain to my sponsor about my daughter’s similar behavior (after 16 months of sobriety), she asks me when K started drinking. I reply 14 or 15. She says, “OK, then she is about 18-19 now – is that how she acts”?

    Well, yeah . . . . . .

    Her point is our kids are developmentally delayed in so many ways. It’s not fair to expect too much of them these first few years of sobriety.

    BTW we have this conversation about once a month. Hang in there and enjoy the holidays.

  6. Courtsmom says:

    I know exactly how you feel. I’m trying to separate my expectations from the reality, but I just can’t seem to do it. Oh how I wish we could all find an end to this heartbreak.

    Best wishes to all.

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