Here’s what I think…

He relapsed and was using for a few days or weeks or months or whatever. Then he decided to stop. He went into withdrawals and what I witness was that wild eyed panic and despair of withdrawal. I also think it is possible that he got some bad shit laced with who knows what. I would say he took a sub yesterday morning or before he went to bed and woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed. I wonder how long this will last?

He really scared me, he was twitching like he had a tick and his eyes were darting back and forth. He looked so anxious I was scared to leave him alone. I was doing a mental checklist of options I had for getting him admitted into a mental hospital. I learned several things:

  1. I have no idea what I would do if he really was out of control and raging in my house.
  2. I don’t know the first thing about getting him admitted against his will.
  3. I was close to losing it too, we could share a room in the looney bin.
  4. Addiction Sucks…Okay I knew that already but it is still newsworthy.
  5. My other children are scared of J when he looks like the Alien and so am I.

….AND THESE ARE THE DAYS OF OUR LIVES. Be sure to tune in next week and see J’s mom stick her head in the oven.


About madyson007

I am a mom of 4 who thought she was home free when my oldest son went off to college. My serious blunder? Genetics and being naive or maybe just plain stupid.
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10 Responses to Here’s what I think…

  1. Summer says:

    Getting a Form 5 (or 5150) on someone is really hard, believe me we have tried. Even after my son’s OD, the ER doc just scoffed when we mentioned it and this was after the state’s attorney and police mentioned it, too. Sadly, jail was the best/safest option for my son. It’s a crazy system…no pun intended.

    This appears to just be for California but it’s the same everywhere –

  2. madyson007 says:

    Thank you for the information Summer!

  3. fractalmom1 says:

    Call the cops. Tell them he was crazily making threats to you and suicidal (if it happens again). They will either 1. Arrest him. 2. Commit him on an involuntary psych hold or 3. Make him leave.

  4. Sheila says:

    I learned to keep my keys in my pocket at all times and my wallet locked and hidden in the car. That way I could make a quick exit. I also bought a cheap door alarm for inside of my bedroom door so I felt safer while asleep. Thankfully I never needed these precautions.

  5. Connie says:

    It may not seem like it, but 911 is your friend. Definitely a very hard place to be. While it would be hard for all of you to see J in a psych ward or jail, it would be awful if you ended up there too. So I hope you will put you and your other children first in this situation. Not lecturing. Just caring. Much love.

  6. Syd says:

    I hope that you and your other children won’t be hostages anymore. It sounds as if it is time to make decisions that are best for you and them.

  7. Anna says:

    I am so sorry that it got that bad. It is very difficult to have someone committed. If you say they are suicidal and then they deny it they let them go. If you say that you fear for your life that he threatened you, they may put him on a hold for a couple of days.

    A restraining order is easier in as much as once you make about the same statements he is not allowed near you. If he violates the order they put him in jail.

    Mental health system is in a shambles. It is one of the reasons we are seeing so many shootings. If the parents say the truth……. anything short of what we already told you NOTHING happens.

    That being said, if he is seeing and hearing things and he tells them that they may keep him if he is not doing drugs. If he is doing drugs it looks to me like it depends on how many bedsd they have available. Sometimes they keep them and sometimes not.

    I agree with the person above who said to always have an escape plan and a tank of gas.

  8. dorcon1 says:

    I called 911 when I thought my son was insane and was going to harm himself. The cops came and he ran outside. They took out their dogs to find him! (God, I wish I could forget these memories). He was brought to a psychiatric unit. The psychiatrist called me the next day and said my son’s toxology report showed high levels of intoxication, and that a seriously depressed person would be laying in bed. So they released him and suggested that he get help for addiction. It became a vicious cycle of looking for mental health help but not being able to find it because he was addicted to alcohol and drugs. Once he was sober for a number of months, we were able to address the mental health issues. It’s a long process, but will only get worse, not better if they don’t get into recovery. God bless. I know your angst, but you have to detach yourself and not enable. Easier said than done, I know.

  9. Mary Mac says:

    I was looking for a way to contact you without it going in the form of a comment. Is there an email available to contact you directly? My email address is ****** – telling….isn’t it?

    Many of your posts could have been written by me……….all too similar stories. Right now things for us are good, very good. We did not take the conventional rehab route. While I feel we might be out of the woods it will always loom on the horizon, dark and dangerous. Hopefully it will not be entered by my son again! I think everyones journey is different, what works for one isn’t necessarily right or best for everyone. If you are interested I would love to hear from you to give some support and share a few ideas/thoughts I have.

    Mary Mac

  10. Jeff says:

    I’m late to the party on this thread but wanted to add a few more items to the already, mostly great comments provided. I very much agree putting someone on a physc hold is a rather high threshold. While from the view of parents like those who commented that is a bad thing, step back a bit and think of why it is a good thing. This is America after all and a very slippery slope to start locking up people because WE or SOMEONE thinks they need to be locked up. That’s how burning witches at the stake happened – people thought it was the right thing to do.

    More to the point, they have to be a clear danger to themselves or someone else and WHAT THEY SAY is huge and number one in all of this. “Do you want to harm yourself?” If they answer no, it’s often game over. Even if they do say “Yes”, what very often happens is they are held for hours to a day until seen by a “professional” who will evaluate them in less than an hour or two and determine whether they truly are a danger. It is then only the most serious and obvious of all cases who are held any longer.

    Again, this is bad in many ways but also very good in many ways for if it were not this way you and I could be next to be locked up just because SOMEONE THOUGHT SO.

    Calling 911 is really a crap shoot these days. I hate to say that as well but the militarization of the police together with thousands of YouTube videos just make it plain very scary and a roll of the dice to call 911 and have the police come into your home. You may get a well seasoned officer who really does a great job or you may get a Rambo wannabe who shoots your Golden Retriever because he ran up to him to be petted – as all Goldens do but because of “officer safety” he felt threatened and shot. Again, go to YouTube and you’ll find these exact videos. Do a Google search and you’ll find even more stories. Today’s cops are not at all like the police anyone in their 40s to 90s grew up knowing. Be very careful with calling in the government to help you – EVER.

    FINALLY – and perhaps most important – why are you still allowing J to make the rules? This is your game yet you let J run the show and make the rules – then you wonder why you have no control and are scared in your own home. Really? I know that is harsh, but please, c’mon you need to start stepping up. You make the rules in your own home – not J. If you are paying for J’s Suboxone – then you hold onto it and administer it to him daily. Don’t let him have it – it’s yours!!! You paid for it. Don’t let J make the rules anymore. It’s clear he is not capable of making the rules and running the show. I’m not saying to run or manage Js life as he has to try to do that. You then manage your life, your home and your minor children. Don’t let J do that.

    You make reference to a soap opera. I never watched them but often hear how you can stop watching for years, come back and catch right up as if nothing had changed. Do you see the resemblance? Perhaps that’s why you made the reference. This situation needs a hero. You can’t fix J but you most certainly can fix what goes on inside your own home and with your own family. Be that hero. Very glad you are back and blogging. I missed reading your updates and really have wondered how you were doing – hoping it was well.


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