Scattered pieces…

Spring should come limping in any minute now. I have looked for signs of spring and I see nothing…no buds, no flowers not a single damn pussy willow. Spring can bring such joy and I could use a little of that right now.  My husband doesn’t like me very much anymore. My work will be cutting my hours again. This will sound silly but an activity that I love being a part of is also ending. There is nothing I can do about it and I am so sad about it. It was my distraction and brought me great happiness and took up a great deal of time which meant less time focusing on the negative. I don’t think anyone understand how much it hurts to not be a part of it soon. J has gone back to work for landscaper friend. This is great news in some respects but it also brings great fear. When J works for landscaper he is up early and works hard…I love to see him on a normal schedule. He works long hours and is paid in cash. Cash brings temptation so even though J has been doing well it will just be a matter of time before the next big fall. I no longer pick up the pieces but I still get to see all the pieces scattered on the floor. I can’t invite friends over because I don’t want them to see those pieces cluttering up the house.  This addiction is a very messy business…disfunction is our new normal.

Advertisements

About madyson007

I am a mom of 4 who thought she was home free with her oldest son when he went off to college. My serious blunder? Genetics and being naive or maybe just plain stupid.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Scattered pieces…

  1. Tori Lee says:

    Celebrate that he is sober right now.

  2. Liz says:

    Mady, it sounds as if you are more than sad… maybe going thru mild depression. I went thru all of this as well for years, and it took it’s toll on me. My doctor prescriped an anti-depressant and it has worked wonders for me. Just something to think about.
    Prayers….

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s