Do you ever feel like your addict is going to a “meeting” to score some drugs? <sigh> Any shred of optimism that once existed in the recess of my mind has vanished. Hope is now a foreign feeling. I find it hard to grasp the notion where there is life there is hope….I desperately want to feel that again but I just can’t seem to muster it anymore. J as far as I am concerned relapsed about a week and a half after he got home, he was probably high for 3 days. Everyone freaked screamed and threatened… ya know the usual stuff that happens when your addict lives at home and then uses. Then it seems to me he sobered up and has gone to a meeting here and there. I would say he has been sober the entire time with the exception of those three days. Not that long ago I would have thought that was quite an accomplishment…inside I would be secretly bubbling with hope and happiness. Now even with his sobriety I find no satisfaction. How did that happen? Where did that lovely person go who always had hope and could see good in any situation. I am telling you she has disappeared. What scares me the most is what if she never comes back….like ever?
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