This is what I posted on Facebook: I am not a big New Year’s resolution kind of gal but this year has been a rough one. So in 2014….I am going to laugh a little louder and hug those closest to me. I am going to be a kinder mommy and a happy devoted wife because next year I don’t want to look back and think how tough it has been. I don’t want to think that I am often a kinder gentler person with strangers than I am with my loved ones. I recognize right now what is important in life and vow that in the coming year that is what I will focus on.
This is what I wanted to post on Facebook: I don’t do New Year’s resolutions because I make promises I never keep but this year things need to change. My son is an addict who has been in jail and relapsed numerous times and each time he does, I die a little inside. I want laugh a little louder and hug my little ones who shouldn’t have to live under this dark cloud of addiction. My husband deserves a wife who is happy more than she is sad. My own children and husband deserve the same happy, respectful and devoted love that I give my job and students. It hurts to look back this year and realize those are the people in my life that got the best of me. My family got what was left over….which translated to not very much.
It wasn’t all bad or horrible but it wasn’t certainly wasn’t fabulous. I think if I asked my children three words to describe me they would be distracted, cranky and sad. <sigh>I don’t want that for next year so I bow my head and pray that things will be better next year…happier and more peaceful.