New Year’s Resolutions…

This is what I posted on Facebook: I am not a big New Year’s resolution kind of gal but this year has been a rough one. So in 2014….I am going to laugh a little louder and hug those closest to me. I am going to be a kinder mommy and a happy devoted wife because next year I don’t want to look back and think how tough it has been. I don’t want to think that I am often a kinder gentler person with strangers than I am with my loved ones. I recognize right now what is important in life and vow that in the coming year that is what I will focus on.
This is what I wanted to post on Facebook: I don’t do New Year’s resolutions because I make promises I never keep but this year things need to change. My son is an addict who has been in jail and relapsed numerous times and each time he does, I die a little inside. I want laugh a little louder and hug my little ones who shouldn’t have to live under this dark cloud of addiction. My husband deserves a wife who is happy more than she is sad. My own children and husband deserve the same happy, respectful and devoted love that I give my job and students. It hurts to look back this year and realize those are the people in my life that got the best of me. My family got what was left over….which translated to not very much.
It wasn’t all bad or horrible but it wasn’t certainly wasn’t fabulous. I think if I asked my children  three words to describe me they would be distracted, cranky and sad. <sigh>I don’t want that for next year so I bow my head and pray that things will be better next year…happier and more peaceful.

About madyson007

I am a mom of 4 who thought she was home free when my oldest son went off to college. My serious blunder? Genetics and being naive or maybe just plain stupid.
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4 Responses to New Year’s Resolutions…

  1. Helga says:

    You have the power to change it! Happy New Year!

  2. Annette says:

    Create a happy new year, you can do it…..and I need to follow that advice for myself too.

  3. Ann says:

    Oh my gosh I can relate to this! I am a kinder, happier version of myself when I’m with people other than my husband and children. They deserve better… Thanks for the reminder! I hope 2014 is happier, calmer and healthier for you and all of your family members.

  4. mysonisanaddict says:

    The only way you will ever find happiness is to let go of your addict. You are doing a huge injustice to your healthy children by letting the addict control your life. And you will always be walking on eggshells while he is around. Time to get him out of the house. It is so very hard and you will grieve. He may die or wind up in jail. I had my son taken away by the police. He was homeless. But he could always find drugs no matter what…..
    I actually felt better, more normal, when he was gone- I could feel comfortable in my home again, and I could enjoy my healthy son and begin to repair the damage with my relationship with my husband. Once I realized I couldn’t – control- change- fix my addict I could begin to heal. My most important lesson has been to know I can only control what happens in my playpen. His playpen is all his.
    Addict must leave.

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