Just not sure how long he can hold out…

My father is not happy. He wants so badly to bail J out. J is playing him like a Stradivarius. Pushing all the right buttons so that grandpa convinces me to bail him out. When that won’t work he will eventually go for the gut and beg grandpa to get him out because he can’t take it and BAM…he will be out. Just not sure how long grandpa can hold out…. <sigh>

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About madyson007

I am a mom of 4 who thought she was home free with her oldest son when he went off to college. My serious blunder? Genetics and being naive or maybe just plain stupid.
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8 Responses to Just not sure how long he can hold out…

  1. Lisa says:

    Ask his grandfather if he will be willing to follow him around, stay with him every moment, shower with him, go to bathroom with him, and sleep next to him. Because this will be warranted when he is out and ‘free’. Not saying J will go right back to using but, in this house, this is what a release without consequences awaiting further sentencing would mean

  2. Sheila says:

    Madyson, can you tell grandpa that if grandpa bails J out, then J will be living at grandpa’s house?

  3. Ron Grover says:

    Ask Grandpa to call the Parent Helpline 1-855-DRUGFREE. Or if he wants to talk to me, e-mail me for phone number.

  4. Annette says:

    Welllll…..I like the idea of telling g-pa if he bails him out, then J can live at his house. It is so important that G-pa honor your requests as the parents of J and let things play out. Calling the parent helpline is an excellent idea also.

  5. Jeff says:

    All great suggestions. You can’t keep grandpa from doing what he may do. You can try as best you can but you can’t stop him if he goes against your wishes but you most certainly can stop J from living with you. Might even want to tell j and grandpa this if you have not already. Tell gramps that whatever happens, if J od’s, gets re – arrested, skips bail, anything, grandpa has to handle it on his own – you will not get involved. Let grandpa know the police will be watching J and could raid the house J is living in. Maybe grandpa needs to be scared straight. Just some thoughts.

  6. Lisa says:

    I just want to add as we talk about this that grandparents do mean well. I am one now. And thinking about any harm coming to my grandson, jail or drugs, makes my heart hurt. It is the unconditional love grandparents have for their grandchildren that makes non enabling so very difficult. I am not saying parents don’t love their kids just as much, but grandparents just have a different relationship with grandchildren. My mom didn’t understand why I would beg her not to give him money and ask her to please hide her keys. And then, being an insulin dependent diabetic, I had to have the talk with her on where he was getting his ‘tools’. UGH. It’s just so hard all around with all members of the family. And grandparents are no exception. Actually the hardest to have to educate I find!

  7. Helga says:

    I am a grandmother 5 times over, and I have learned so much through my daughter, that I will gladly be “hands-off” if any of my grandchildren would ever get involved with drugs. You have to make it clear to your dad that if he gets involved with J in any way, J will be his responsibility involving every possibility mentioned by above commentators. This has nothing to do with being mean, but everything with possibly saving a life.

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