J has made contact with Grandpa…

I knew this would happen. He wants to bail him out immediately. I told him to wait and I will explain why that is not a good idea. Ugh…what am I going to say? I know you love your grandson and think he is the most wonderful thing God has ever created but guess what? He’s not.

About madyson007

I am a mom of 4 who thought she was home free when my oldest son went off to college. My serious blunder? Genetics and being naive or maybe just plain stupid.
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6 Responses to J has made contact with Grandpa…

  1. Patricia says:

    Oh My, this is hard!!! We faced it with my mother because we had tried to protect her from our daughter’s alcoholism. In the end I had to sit down and tell her all we had been through and what I had learned in Al Anon about enabling. It surprised me but she accepted it and supported our limits. It helps to tell it all – that this is NOT an isolated mistake, but a trend you have lived with for some time. I also gave my mom suggestions such as “If she contacts you, tell her we all love her and will support her in getting help and recovery.” She is a big supporter of us now and also our daughter’s recovery. You can do this. You are walking through this so well . . . even when it feels so bad.

  2. Tori Lee says:

    I think it is so much harder on the Grand parents then us. We went to family therapy yesterday over B and the Therapist who pushed us to throw him out last time has changed his tune. He now works closely with Medical Doctor’s and they have an entirely different way they think addiction should be handled. Dad and I were in shock.

    However one of the things that the therapist was very clear on is if B goes to jail that is on him – no matter what bad happens to him that is the result of his drug use he is on his own.

    This is so hard – my continued prayers.

  3. Oh yes, it’s hard with grandparents. I had to tell my parents too, “If Dan calls, please do not send him money…” Heartbreaking. My mother said, “When you said drugs, I thought he was smoking pot.” If only.

  4. Terri says:

    It is hard on grands. My mother blames herself for not letting my son return home after a drug binge. I told her that she did the right thing. He is in jail now and I know that none of our family will offer to bond him out. It is harder for my father because he and my son have a special bond but even he knows that bailing him out is not the answer. Take care! I hope granddad won’t bail him out.

  5. Jeff says:

    Wow, so very sorry to read this development. As if you needed even more challenges and just as you are doing so well holding your own line. Will asking dad to please respect what you as parents are asking be done, or actually not be done, do any good?

    Is it any wonder why addicts (never mind what their specific addiction is) are able to continue as addicts? Most would not be able to continue addiction on their own. It’s all the well meaning but completly misguided people in their lives that keep them going.

    Very sorry to hear it Mady.

  6. Helga says:

    Yes, Jeff is correct. Sometimes you just have to put your foot down in every direction. Please ask grandpa to respect your boundaries that you have set with your son. J will not fully experience the consequences of his actions, if grandpa is allowed to interfere. Don’t let him undermine your hard efforts.

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