Geeze Jeff…

I actually think you are being a little melodramatic Jeff. I work very hard to make sure that J’s umm “life” does not interfere with their “life”. In fact, so damn hard I am freaking exhausted. Going out to eat for Thanksgiving was not offered as a consolation prize. It was offered with all good intentions of being something unique, fun and possibly awesome.

Once again perception is everything. Apparently in writing this blog I have given the impression that I am slinking around with my head slung low and my tail between my legs and nothing could be further from the truth. I don’t have that luxury because if I did I would just curl up in my bed and get up only to grab chocolate chocolate chip ice cream from the freezer.

I live the cards I am dealt. I have two younger children who need a mom who loves and cares for them. I keep addiction as far away as possible…I succeed maybe 50% percent of the time. The effort I put into keeping their lives as normal as possible is a full time job but I do it with a smile because I love them and I don’t know any other way to do it.

What I write on this blog is often what the rest of the world never sees….including my family.

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About madyson007

I am a mom of 4 who thought she was home free with her oldest son when he went off to college. My serious blunder? Genetics and being naive or maybe just plain stupid.
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6 Responses to Geeze Jeff…

  1. Tori Lee says:

    I think one thing that is hard for those of us who write is that we appear nuts a lot of the times. The thing for me is I often write when I am feeling my lowest or when something bad happened I will sit down and write it all out. I have gone back to my posts and swore it was someone else writing them or that I am certifiable.

    I am usually under extreme stress when I write – but after I write and get it out I feel better and more able to think clearly.

    Until I posted what I did on FB last night 90% of the people on my friends list had no idea what is going on in my personal life. We do our best to appear normal when we are working or even just around our family – post and vent away.

  2. midnitefyrfly says:

    I think what Jeff said is pretty off base. Addiction is a disease that does hurt the people around it., butI think it is pretty obvious you are trying damn hard to protect your littles. There will always be negative opinions no matter what you do. What you see in the mirror is the only person that needs to approve of your choices.

  3. Jeff says:

    Wow, I made the headlines, I’m flattered. :). I was not at all trying to be over critical, piss anyone off or make you feel bad. In fact we totally agree on one thing (probably many but start with one) I totally agree with “perception is reality” what is your children’s perception? Have you asked them? Do they feel safe in saying even if you do ask? Very very often when they live with two parents who always fight and argue in front of them they would just love to be able to say “will you two please just shut up and stop it!” That’s what they would live to say but can’t. (Not your situation, just an example) What would they love to say in this situation but can’t? Why else would they be so upset at not having TG at home? They were upset for some reason – what? If not how their lives are already effected, then why? Are they just spoiled brat kids? From how you speak about them I don’t at all get that impression. So why then? Have you asked them? What is THEIR perception?

    This is not about you not trying hard enough or being a bad parent. This, like you said, is about their perception. I obviously can’t know what that is. But you can ask. They got upset for a reason. Unfortunately regardless of how hard you try, no matter if you are super mom, what is going on with J is effecting them just as much as if is you. It just is.

    Finally, I’ll just say this, in the past you’ve been upset with some of my comments only for some time to pass and you come to then agree with them. At least in this case it’s a bit easier to learn the truth, ask the kids. Sit down and talk about the situation with J with them. They may really value that. Children always know more about what’s going on than parents think they do.

    • madyson007 says:

      I was not particularly upset….I just thought you were being melodramatic. J’s addiction is not a secret to any of my children. They know the good, the bad and the ugly but I do try very hard to keep it from their daily lives. They deserve as normal a childhood as possible. If they wanted to say “No way are we skipping Thanksgiving because J is in jail”…then that is what they would have said.

  4. Jean says:

    Something my mother did that made an impact on me – and all of us – at the holidays. She would set a place, not always at the table but where we could see, for the person that wasn’t with us. Then she would put a little pile of salt on the plate. The first time she did it, she said it was to remind us that they were still part of our family, that we loved them and wanted them with us but it wasn’t possible. She said the salt represented the tears we all had shed.

    Morbid? Maybe, but it was an acknowledgement of the situation. I’ve continued the tradition in my own home and for me and mine, the place setting and the salt represent the people who aren’t with us for whatever reason. I even make a little card and list their names. It’s become a tradition.

    Hugs to you. This all sucks ass. The hardest lesson we – especially as parents and mothers – have to learn is that we can’t control anyone but ourselves.

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