I am sorry…

I know I have some very faithful readers and you guys must have whiplash from reading my blog lately. I am up, I am down, I love him, I hate him, I miss him and can’t take his calls. I sound like a crazy person but that is pretty much how I feel a good part of the time. Bare with me….I will try to tame the craziness.

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About madyson007

I am a mom of 4 who thought she was home free with her oldest son when he went off to college. My serious blunder? Genetics and being naive or maybe just plain stupid.
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11 Responses to I am sorry…

  1. Liz says:

    Never, ever be sorry because you feel this way…. I feel this way, we ALL feel this way at one time or another. In fact, it is good to actually hear someone else articulate the things that we are thinking and feeling. I feel your pain because I have it too! You are in my prayers.

  2. Helga says:

    Nothing to be sorry for. You are just human.

  3. Gal says:

    We all feel this way! I love her, I hate her, I’m encouraged, I’m discouraged….Like I said before, parenting an addict is not for sissies.

  4. Sweetie, that’s why we’re here! That’s why we’re all here – to go through this craziness together. I hope you will continue to be honest, whatever that means for you from day to day. Much love…

  5. Annette says:

    I am commenting on my phone which I hate doing….thus my sporadic comments….but I wanted to say, THIS above all places is where you can be up and down, “crazy,” and all over the place…and we all understand. This is a safe place to be right where you are, where ever that may be.

  6. Tori Lee says:

    I am crazy too. Right now I just feel so sorry for my son but two days ago I couldn’t stand him. So sad.

  7. Jeff says:

    It may feel like you are up, then down, then all over the place and bouncing off the walls – and you actually might be. The thing is, you are still making the right decisions and doing what is best for J right now by leaving him there. It’s one thing to think about or consider more damaging courses of action and another entirely to act on them. You are doing the right thing, even if it may not feel like it. At the very least you are doing something different rather than doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results. You know what bailing him out in the past did. It never worked. Doing it again won’t bring a different result. J’s chances at success increase with every sober day, even if in jail. Hand in there. You really are making the right choice.

  8. Ana says:

    I feel like we have the same son! I’m reading your blog and sounds like my life. It made me feel normal yet very sad for you… and for me. God bless you AND him! 😦

  9. Eve says:

    Hi..I’ve been reading your blog for a couple of months now, and just wanted to say I really feel for you and think you’re an amazing and strong person.

    I have not commented before because I am not a POA. My experience with addiction was that I dated an addict for four years and came within six weeks of marrying him. This was in the 70s but when I read your blog I remember…. I have no idea where that guy is now, I broke our engagement and left him for good when he relapsed for the final time of our time together.

    He was addicted to anything at all that would get him high. Heroin, alcohol, weed, pills; he did not discriminate. He OD’d multiple times, spent time in jail and went to rehabs of different sorts. I don’t have to tell anyone here about the details. You all know.

    Anyway, when I read your post today I wanted to tell you you have another faithful reader and I do not have whiplash or think you’re crazy, I think you’re doing the best anyone can possibly do. I pray for you and your son. Also for what it’s worth I think you’re right not to bail him out.

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