I am going to do this right for my little one…

My youngest son is 10 years old. Today is Halloween and he is out of his mind with excitement. I am going to do everything in my power to make this fun like every other Halloween because he deserves that.

Unfortunately we did have to eventually share where J was. We waited until he asked and we told him. I don’t believe in pretending or lying. We told him J is in jail. He wanted to know why and we said it had to do with J’s addiction. Then he wanted to know when J would be home. That was the hardest question because the truth of the matter is, it could be a very long time.

I told him we just really didn’t know the answer to that. He looked so worried. He loves his brother and when J is clean, he is attentive and kind to his little brother. I don’t want him to worry. I want to pretend that everything is fine but he is a smart little boy. He knows that mommy cries and daddy is even more quiet than usual.

If J could look into the worried and scared eyes of his little brother maybe that would be enough to make him stop but I doubt it. It would only work for awhile if it was J inhabiting his body because the Alien would be blind to the fear in all our eyes.


About madyson007

I am a mom of 4 who thought she was home free when my oldest son went off to college. My serious blunder? Genetics and being naive or maybe just plain stupid.
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9 Responses to I am going to do this right for my little one…

  1. Helga says:

    Unfortunately, addicts do not think rationally. So in other words, looking into his little brother’s eyes and recognizing the hurt would hardly stop Jay in his tracks of addiction. This is not because he is mean or anything like that, it is because the addiction robs him of all rationality and compassion for anyone but himself. I hope I am making sense. Therefore never count on “feelings of others” moving addicts to seek treatment for their addiction.

  2. Ron Grover says:

    I agree with Helga. They won’t stop for someone else. They can only stop for themselves.

    The eyes J must confront are the eyes of his own addiction. Those are the eyes that hold the hurt and the truth.

  3. Terri says:

    I agree with both Helga and Ron. My son has a beautiful 3 year old son that he hasn’t seen in over a month because he can’t stay sober and has missed out on most of the important milestones in he son’s life. I taught my grandson to peddle a bicycle and to hit a ball with a bat. If knowing that he is missing all that can’t penetrate his drug fogged mind I don’t know what can.

    Just focus on having fun with your 10 year old tonight. He deserves some normalacy.

  4. Tori Lee says:

    I often wondered how B could not see that his little brother looked up to him, loved him and constantly worried about him. I also told B numerous times that I prayed his brother did not follow in his foot steps and think it was okay because of his “big brother” did it. T finally found out when he was about 11 or 12 – we did hid it from him mainly because we simply didn’t know how to handle it. The first time B was arrested is when we finally told him everything. T is smart and had guessed a little of it but really didn’t know how bad it was. But then it got far worse and although we wished we could hide it from him T handles and handled it very well. Now at 15 he still loves his brother and loves when they go places together but he is never surprised about relapses, etc. The “funny” thing is out of all the people in his family that addiction has hurt B always says the worst besides hurting his Grandma is his little brother.

    J is safe and the little one deserves a fun night that is just about him. Have a great time!

  5. Dawn M McCoy says:

    Concentrate on what you have control over…..and BTW, that is the age I put Pint in Ala-Teen.

  6. I hope you are able to enjoy a bit of childhood with your 10 y.o. on this Halloween day. Yes, he deserves it. And so do you. I agree with you telling the truth also. As for the rest of it … we can talk about it later. To heck with all that. It’s candy day!! Trick or treat!!

  7. Syd says:

    I hope that the little brother had a great Halloween.

  8. Liz says:

    Have you read the book called ‘Addict in the Family’ by Beverly Conyers? I am reading it now and it is a fantastic book and very helpful in understanding the addict and addiction. I would highly recommend it.

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