You can only turn your head and pretend not to see what is smack in front of you for so long…it is so ugly. I don’t feel much of anything anymore but it takes so much self control it is exhausting. Pretending you don’t care is not the same as not caring. Faking it until you make it sounds good in theory but for the long haul it is not an effective strategy. The curtain comes up and you are left with reality. Why is it always so shocking? You would think I would be good at this by now but it still feels like someone just punched me. If I breathe really slow and shade my eyes…maybe I won’t see what is right in front of me.
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