Staying out of it…

I am pretty much keeping to my self. I am not continuously checking J’s eyes, which is always my tell tale sign of where he is at nor am I trying to take a sneak peak at his phone and so far it really is working…It is much easier. The flip side of that, in just my casual dealings with J it appears he is doing well umm…today and yesterday? No matter how much I try not to monitor J I still have to look and talk to him like a human being from time to time and when I do my brain assesses. I can’t seem to help it but in my defense I am not seeking those moments out….so that’s an improvement.

Our financial situation is back to alarming. My husband and I have very different views on how we prioritize things. I tend to want to do right by the children. New sneakers at the beginning of the school year is a necessity not a luxury…the old ones are gross and small. School supplies?…necessity. Paying cheerleading bill?… necessity. Getting my hair done twice a year?…necessity. Hubby thinks finishing the sunroom and vacations are a necessity.I think that is a luxury and one that can wait. I didn’t want it to begin with the vacation or the sunroom.

Obviously paying the mortgage and taxes is a top priority for us both but after that there is a great divide. He tends to put his own wants and needs ahead of everyone and I tend to put my children’s wants and needs ahead. This is about to get so ugly because I want him to sell the damn Corvette in the garage. That is luxury that we can no longer afford to indulge. I want that money….we need that money. I don’t like living wondering if my credit card is going to get declined at the gas station.

Let me also mention that damn car sits in the garage with a cover on it. He takes it out when all the stars align…like when there is no rain, sleet or snow, fog, falling acorns, pollen, loose gravel, bugs or humidity.  So in other words he never drives it more than  2 or 3 times a YEAR!

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About madyson007

I am a mom of 4 who thought she was home free with her oldest son when he went off to college. My serious blunder? Genetics and being naive or maybe just plain stupid.
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2 Responses to Staying out of it…

  1. Tori Lee says:

    I am doing the same thing with B. I don’t monitor his phone – oh well I smashed it so he doesn’t have one and can’t afford to buy one, I don’t ask him where he is going or what he is doing. He went over to Grandma’s yesterday to clean the building she manages since she can’t do it and that was after he went to therapy. I didn’t even know he went until the Therapist called me about a payment. Yes, I will pay for that and happily pay for it. He is trying to get back on the schedule at work and the only reason I know that is because they called me to talk to him. I think we get so caught up in doing everything for them they expect it and why shouldn’t they we started it. It really is quite amazing how peaceful things are when I don’t get in his business, I promised him I was going to stay out of his way and I am and we are both better because of it. I hope our boys turn things around soon.

    The corvette, sunroom……I got nothing! lol Our financial situation sucks too I get it.

  2. Liz says:

    It goes against my motherly instincts, but I now pretty much stay out of my daughter’s business. It wasn’t working for us when I involved myself, asked questions, gave advice… Our relationship is much better now… She is currently clean and has been so for several months, so that definitely helps matters.
    She has a lot of very serious legal issues going on right now caused by drugs. I have told her (lovingly) that if she uses, gets in any more trouble, etc., that the consequences are hers and hers alone and I will not rescue her anymore. She knows I mean it and is working very hard to stay clean, which she is succeeding!!! Our relationship hasn’t been this good in years.. I am loving it. It has helped us tremendously for me to MYOB and let the chips fall as they may. All the best to you and your boy.
    Oh yeah.. we are so in debt it isn’t even funny. My husband didn’t have a corvette to sell, he had hunting land… He sold it and we used it for bill, etc…. i.e., rehabs.

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