The Parable of Banging-Your-Head-Against-The-Wall
Once upon a time, a hapless activist contemplated the lack of effect, and personal costs, of banging your head against the wall.
Start of scene: Me, banging head against the wall: bang! ouch! bang! ouch! bang! ouch! …
Then I received much “advice”.
Me: “Maybe I should stop banging my head against the wall. It hurts. And it doesn’t seem to be affecting the wall in any way.”
Advice-Giver: “Bang your head harder. But don’t ever say “ouch”, because nobody likes a whiner. And look, you made a blood smudge on the wall, isn’t that worthwhile?”
[Attempts to take “advice”]
Me: [Bang!] “Ow” [Bang!] Ouch, that’s painful!
Advice-Giver: “Keep at it. And remember, I told you to stop saying “ouch”. Maybe you should consider that you’re not making any progress because you moan and groan so much? And that bloody smudge is even bigger now, isn’t that progress?”
[one more time]
Me: [BANG! BANG! BANG!] GODDAMMIT THAT HURTS LIKE HELL!
Advice-Giver: “Well, I’ve given you my advice, and you just won’t follow it. It’s obvious that you get some deep satisfaction from playing the victim, since I’ve repeatedly said you shouldn’t complain and you keep doing it. It’s all your fault, since you won’t do what I say. And you shouldn’t be surprised that the wall is still there, with an attitude like yours.”