Banging my head against the wall…

The Parable of Banging-Your-Head-Against-The-Wall

Once upon a time, a hapless activist contemplated the lack of effect, and personal costs, of banging your head against the wall.

Start of scene: Me, banging head against the wall: bang! ouch! bang! ouch! bang! ouch! …

Then I received much “advice”.

Me: “Maybe I should stop banging my head against the wall. It hurts. And it doesn’t seem to be affecting the wall in any way.”

Advice-Giver: “Bang your head harder. But don’t ever say “ouch”, because nobody likes a whiner. And look, you made a blood smudge on the wall, isn’t that worthwhile?”

[Attempts to take “advice”]

Me: [Bang!] “Ow” [Bang!] Ouch, that’s painful!

Advice-Giver: “Keep at it. And remember, I told you to stop saying “ouch”. Maybe you should consider that you’re not making any progress because you moan and groan so much? And that bloody smudge is even bigger now, isn’t that progress?”

[one more time]


Advice-Giver: “Well, I’ve given you my advice, and you just won’t follow it. It’s obvious that you get some deep satisfaction from playing the victim, since I’ve repeatedly said you shouldn’t complain and you keep doing it. It’s all your fault, since you won’t do what I say. And you shouldn’t be surprised that the wall is still there, with an attitude like yours.”


About madyson007

I am a mom of 4 who thought she was home free when my oldest son went off to college. My serious blunder? Genetics and being naive or maybe just plain stupid.
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3 Responses to Banging my head against the wall…

  1. Tori Lee says:

    I have been bloodied quite a few times myself!

  2. sheila says:

    I think your first words in this play contain your own advice. Listen to yourself for the answer.

  3. Sheri says:

    I guess I’m confused about your parable.
    Is the “advice giver” a person who responds to your blog posts? I would not think anyone would tell you to keep banging your head against the wall and keep doing it until a different result occurs.Anyone who is dealing with an addict knows that shit doesn’t work.
    Or is the “advice giver” a metaphor for the addict in your life? In that case then, yeah ,I get it. They love to see us repeating the same behavior over and over. They love to tell us we are playing the victim, that allows them to go on their merry way doing what the hell they please while we feel bad about ourselves.
    Please don’t get offended at my questions, I am speaking from YEARS and YEARS of experience and while I do not walk in your shoes, I shop at the same store.

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