The truth shall be revealed…

About two weeks ago I told his girlfriend that I was quite sure he was using regularly. She knew about his past but to me it seemed she turned a blind eye to his relapses. The poor girl was devastated and shocked. I have never shared any information with his GF because I really wasn’t interested in getting involved in their relationship. So she confronted him and he went into denial and the old stand-by “How can you not trust me?” and “My mom is a lunatic and always thinks I am high.” AND…Once again he made all sorts of promises and she believed him and life went on. Until a few days ago when she intercepted a few text messages on his phone.

She is blaming herself…but she still loves him and is so confused. Then she asked the big question: How can I help him? and What should I do? I looked at her and saw me 3 years a go….total destruction of a kind and loving soul. So with out a lot of thought I said to her: You did not cause this, you can not control his addiction and you sure as hell can’t cure it. What you should do is walk away, in fact you should run. J’s addiction will always be his mistress and you will have to share J with his mistress if you stay. As long as you are present and supportive and willing to forgive each time he lies…J never has to change. Not to mention his family still offers him a home while pretending he has no mistress…it’ a win-win for him. She has walked away.

J is fairly close to a nervous breakdown. He really is going to lose everything good in his life…his girlfriend…his family and his home and this time he knows it. My husband is furious. Once again, rehab is on the table or he will be homeless, either works for me because he won’t be here. So now he is in desperation mode. He is still trying to negotiate with promises we know he will never keep….. He is desperate to hold off on this for another two weeks because it will interfere with his last meeting and release from probation. How ironic…right? I want to call his probation officer and tell her he is not well at all and she should not release him but I am not really sure what this would accomplish?

I am so stressed out…I have my own worries. My 13-year-old is in therapy, my Bama girl is going to have to take on a huge amount of responsibility when I go into the hospital and my 9-year-old …well, he is NINE for Christ sakes he shouldn’t have to hear ANY OF THIS. AND I am going to have to tape my pain killers to my chest so J has no access to them but just maybe he will be gone before I get home from the hospital. FML


About madyson007

I am a mom of 4 who thought she was home free when my oldest son went off to college. My serious blunder? Genetics and being naive or maybe just plain stupid.
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7 Responses to The truth shall be revealed…

  1. My heart feels your torment at every level. I will keep you in my thoughts. I have been worried!!

  2. Helga says:

    I am so sorry. I wish I could help somehow. I am sending you prayers and positive vibes.

  3. Tori Lee says:

    I pray he goes to rehab vs. the street. If he is locked in you will know he is safe at least and maybe you can recover from your surgery with a little less worry.

    I don’t know what to write. I want to write something that will make you feel better but nothing will right now. I wish I could just hug you. My prayers are with all of you.

  4. Dawn M McCoy says:

    I am glad d u told her the absolute truth.

  5. Lisa says:

    I think that you did the write thing and I like how you put it. Would he consider detox and then a sober home to keep his girlfriend? To maybe try another way? Lord knows I think the statistics on getting sober for parents is about 2%. But nice beautiful girlfriends can be slightly higher right? I think if he realizes he is losing everything it could be a turning point. Hang in there!

    • madyson007 says:

      That’s what I think too…and she is as nice and pretty as they come. If she is not worth getting clean for nothing is.

      • Lisa says:

        Omg my spellcheck. WRITE thing? Ugh. Anyway..yes I would think this could be a hopeful change to the situation. Sometimes true love and or children can do it … Who knows! You are at least lucky she’s clean!!! So many are in situations where the couple is using and that is a bigger detriment to the situation. I am sending prayers and hope your way.

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