After speaking to a friend who is smack in the middle of a divorce, I just am not sure that is what I really want. It sounds like a very scary proposition. My job would never support my children and myself even scaled back to nothing. New Jersey is a very expensive place to live. I really sat on this idea for a couple of days and tried to imagine my life single and the truth is, warts and all I like my life and I love my husband even when I hate him.
What I am about to tell you is private (which in general my blog is) but it is hard for me to write this…things have been deteriorating in my marriage and things are always amplified when J is using. I am an intelligent woman and I know what I can put up with and I know where I draw the line. Well, some recent things have happened that crossed the line and wandered into the abusive side of things. It was a big reality slap for me and my husband.
If we both want this marriage to survive we are going to need to work hard to make that happen. I am currently evaluating my boundaries and will probably be posting about it as I work through all these thoughts and feelings. Lucky you! You guys get to listen to me ramble on…LOL