I want a divorce. The End.
This broke my heart. DON’T let J or his addiction win.
Ohhhh, very sad. My advice, I know very un-Alanonish of me….but my advice would be to wait awhile, think on it. Give it 6 months. ((HUG)) I’m sorry things are so freaking hard right now.
Breathe. Think. Ponder. The biggest loser to heroin addiction (or any addiction) is family. There were times….OH! THERE were times, when Dave wasn’t on the same page, and I too considered leaving. I will not preach. I will just say, thoughts in anger should not translate to actions…..((((((hugs))))) and ++++++prayers++++++ and ❤
Sending you love and prayers for you at every turn.
Having been exactly where you are Madyson, I would just like to share that I chose a trial separation first. This gave me the space to get my head together and get some rest free of all the drama.
Having been exactly where you are Madyson, I would just like to share that I chose a trial separation first. This gave me the space to get my head together and get some rest free of all the drama. Then I was able to sort out my feelings for husband vs. child. Hugs.
We can all give our thoughts here but you are the person living in the situation and you need to do what your heart is telling you to do. I cannot imagine how difficult it is to live with your son’s addiction and your husband’s drinking problem on top of that. Maybe you should see a counselor, that may help, I just don’t think that this is something that anyone looking from the outside in with just bits and pieces of the details on a blog, can really advise you on. I’m praying for you.
GIRL!!! It’s about time!! stay strong because i have been reading and not just bits and pieces and it is not just your sanity but your daughters as well who are caught in the middle of this sh#@ storm. you have known this along time and it takes time to come to a surrender and acceptance of what reality is.
you have tried everything you can, now you need your sanity and you need to show your girls what a great strong woman you are. I am a big cheerleader for you. I never want to know divorce, but if my husband relapses, you will be hearing from me, cause i will need you to help me stay strong.
i can’t tell you how I have stayed clean, I cannot tell you what kept my husband clean, I cannot tell you how to help your son or husband. I know what worked for me was hitting rock bottom in my life. that was where i changed. and that is where you are changing. today between the two of us we have 30 years clean. he has 22 and i have 8.
i know you have fought for your family. and this too is a fight. it is not giving up. do not tell yourself that. this is just where you see yourself needing to move on to a healthy life. we cannot always take the ones we love with us. all we can do is show them the way and wait for them to decide when they should change their path.
I am praying for your family, your strength and if I could give you a big hug I would. Hang in there.- susie q
I hate divorce – HATE IT. That said, Maddy, you have to do SOMETHING. And often times it takes an action like this for the other spouce to wake up and make some changes before they lose everything. Something has to change in your situation and this would certainly be an agent of change. I hope it doesn’t have to go all the way to the final divorce decree. However, at least looking into might not at all be the worst thing – may even be the best. I also agree with Erin. You need to get advice from a normal, outside, trained, person. You simply cannot rely on the dysfunction of your family to guide you. You need to see that it truely is them and not you that is living in dysfunction. All that said, please don’t repeat the same mistake with throwing down the ultimatum with J and then not following through. Don’t tell you husband you intend to divorce if that is not what you really intend to do. It’s one thing if he changes his behavoir and you change your mind and a complete another if nothing changes and you still change your mind – that just again reinforces it’s okay for him to keep doing what he’s been doing. Above all else I wish you all the best.
I’m praying for you to make the right decisions & have peace in your heart
Oh Madyson, if I could offer what worked for me…I had to “get out” of active addiction for awhile to become sane again. I left my husband but made no decisions. I saw a counselor and she helped me see things less black & white. Gray, while perhaps boring in color, is good 🙂 The reason I made no decisions was because I realized I was too insane to make any good decisions at that time. Perhaps this is where you are. Praying you find peace.
Praying for you to find peace and the correct decision. In the words of the late Ann Landers, “Are YOU better off with him, or without him?” Only you can truly answer that. Hugs!!!
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