Operation failure…a complete success!

Okay raise your hand if you knew this was coming.  Oooo….. I see Jeff and a bunch of others rolling their eyes and shaking their heads in agreement. Operation: “Get J OUT” aborted. I can’t do this by myself and I shouldn’t have to. I am invisible right now…to everyone. I find my self just shrinking a little more each day. “Don’t care…” and the  ever popular “Whatever…”, happen to be my go to phrases at the moment. Tomorrow will be a better day…I am just going to fake it until I make it.

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About madyson007

I am a mom of 4 who thought she was home free with her oldest son when he went off to college. My serious blunder? Genetics and being naive or maybe just plain stupid.
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4 Responses to Operation failure…a complete success!

  1. Dawn M McCoy says:

    Oh hell. All we can do is all we can do. And the only ones who truly know are us… and God. Cut yourself some slack. Guess what. In 3 or 6 months, he will still be there to kick out and you will be stronger, or he will have left on his own. One second at a time is the best we can do. <3. Now for that glass of Merlot lol

  2. My dear. Be kind to yourself. Plans change. Winds shift. It wasn’t meant to be RIGHT now. Just because you noted it on the Internet doesn’t mean it’s etched in stone. Do not let this make you feel weak or powerless. You are just human and you want the best for your family. When the time is right it will happen. Know you are cradled in faith. All of this bullshit is for a reason. Ask for clarity and let it go. I am pretty sure you have asked, pleated, And begged for mercy. He hears you and his lesson is in place. You need to take off the handcuffs of addiction and start claiming yourself back. Wouldn’t you rather be strong and in your destined spot regardless of what your son chooses as his path? You need
    To start carrying for yourself And re- claiming YOU. Everyone will benefit.

    Stop beating yourself up for things out of your control.

    Be kind to YOU.

    Treat YOURSELF as you would any lost stranger.

    Hang in there

  3. Jeff says:

    Wow, refered to (or called out) by name! I’m honored. 🙂 Of course all the women (well two anyhow) rally around with the typical “it’s okay, blah, blah, blah.” While I do agree it’s not the end of the world or even close to it, what it did to, yet again, is put another check mark in the long line that J already has that mom won’t ever follow through with what she says. It just confirmed that for him yet again so he is a little bit more certain that what she threatens really won’t be backed up with anything. That’s the bad part here. There is a good part, however. I always say that it’s not the worst thing to make a mistake – hell we all make them, myself at the top of that list. What you don’t want to do is repeat that same mistake again – at least learn from it. If nothing else you really have to stop making idle threats to J. If you don’t think you can follow through with the threat, don’t make it in the first place. You are one more step worse off now than had you now put up that fake threat that he (and I suspect others reading along) knew all along you would not keep. J knows that the best predictor of what you will do in the future is what you have done in the past. So, I guess in the end I sort of do agree with the others. Don’t beat yourself up about what is done – it’s done. Don’t berate yourself over it. Just, please, don’t do it again. You are correct – you can’t do it on your own. This is a family disease. I continue to say you need help – professional help. You can’t drag J or your husband but nothing is stopping you from getting some assistance and guidence. If not for J – then at least for you. You can’t keep living this way. Don’t beat yourself up, don’t do it again, and get some outside assistance.

  4. Tori Lee says:

    You shouldn’t beat yourself up, most of us have been there, I sure have many times. I try my best to be careful what I say to my son now as far as any type of threat. There comes a time when we need to take care of ourselves.

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