I really have entangled him from my life. I do not cook for him…if he is home for a dinner I made, he is welcome to have some but I do not prepare any meals for him. I do not clean his room nor do I do his laundry…driving is a different story. He needs to work so I will drive him to work and sometimes pick him up if he is desperate. I do not want him to lose his job…there is no walking or public transportation. When I say he has a bed and food and the use of my washer and dryer…I am serious. LOL That is it. But that in of it self is to much…I think he needs to be cold and hungry. He needs to choose between drugs or eating or maybe using and having a warm bed to sleep in. My husband is just not there yet and I feel powerless at the moment.
Things are very different then when I first started this blog…he is highly functioning. I don’t know or care what his work schedule is. It is 100% his responsibility to make sure he is up and has a ride. I don’t make any calls on his behalf. I also do not hide my purse…he has a job and so he has his own money. He bought everyone Christmas presents for the first time EVER. Things are much improved but I just can not pretend that he isn’t using when he sometimes does.
Maybe I should? Things would be so much easier if I just looked the other way but I just can’t. He seems to have forgotten the hell we all lived when he was un-functioning. The stealing, the lying, hiding my purse and car keys…I don’t ever want to go back there. I know how easy it is to fall back into hell…he thinks he has it under control and obviously doesn’t remember.