#10 Christmas Wrap…and this cheerful stuff is total crap, J sucks.

Did you wrap your kids toys growing up? I was shocked to learn that some parents had a tradition of not wrapping gifts left by Santa. My husband and I figured out early that unwrapping was one of the best parts of Christmas morning. I got into the habit of wrapping everything and I mean everything…from the Christmas M &M’s left in their stockings to the Bike that took 4 rolls of paper.16379868-a-large-group-of-gift-wrapped-christmas-presents-in-a-colourful-variety-of-wrapping-paper-with-ribbo

J was on my laptop and left his Facebook up. I of course took this opportunity to see what he was up to. He didn’t disappoint. I actually got to meet “Ms Dealer Delivery” up close and personal. FUCK HIM…he moves out on January 25th or I do. We actually thought about giving him his car back a couple of months ago. I am so glad we didn’t. One day he asked me if he could take the car just once…I asked him to take a drug test. His response: I don’t have to pee. You know the old saying “You know how you know an addict is lying? His mouth is moving.” Apparently I live that every day.

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About madyson007

I am a mom of 4 who thought she was home free with her oldest son when he went off to college. My serious blunder? Genetics and being naive or maybe just plain stupid.
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8 Responses to #10 Christmas Wrap…and this cheerful stuff is total crap, J sucks.

  1. Annette says:

    Not participating anymore is the greatest give you can give him. It’s sad that it has to be that way, but our kids are sick. They make poor decisions and lie to those they love the most. I believe underneath all the bravado they feel awful about themselves and what they are doing. But only they can make it better.

    Sent from my iPhone

  2. Lisa says:

    Ugh that all too familiar disappointment when they stupidly don’t cover their tracks and you cannot help but discover the next tip off. It’s like you look with one eye covered. All too often I have heard ‘you’re a dumpster diver’, ‘you’re a stalker’ ‘why don’t you worry about your own life’. To which I responded ‘I wish I could worry about my own life instead of yours’ and um ‘do you think I want to ruin my day by finding out your next damn activities’. Nope. Again….when they aren’t in your every day existence there is less to see and know. I choose to bring myself to a happy place and picture him skipping around with rainbows and butterflies. If its not in our face, it’s half out of our mind…..

    Hopefully this gives your husband what he needs to make an informed decision. Unfortunately for mine…I think the more he knew the worse he thought our sons problem was and therefore felt he needed us. Ugh….I think we are just so much more informed with our blog world and understand all too well the harsh reality of forcing ourselves to let go in order to save them.

  3. Tori Lee says:

    I remember getting my sons password to his FB account and spying on him. That was when I could no longer deny how bad it really was. Although I didn’t always understand all of the terms they used I would google it and find out mostly it was about H. I obsessed over it for some time as I got it after he was out of our house. I did print out some things and show them to my Mom in hopes that she would understand how bad it was and kick him out but she wouldn’t. At any rate, I eventually stopped and of course he eventually changed the password as he thought someone had it since I had a habit of erasing messages before he would see them or go in and change a phone number of his dealers.

    The best thing for me was that it showed me what friends were using and selling with him which was hard because there was a couple I never would have believed that were doing it with him. I learned to trust none of his friends and believe nothing of what they say. Shoot a couple of these friends were telling me how bad he was and how out of control yet they were doing it too.

    I hope you take the time to work on yourself. That has been the hardest for me to do….. To be honest I believe he is sober but I don’t know 100% unless I were to drug test him 3 times per week which has crossed my mind and then I decided no. I had to and have to continue to take care of myself and get better. Funny thing, as I started taking better care of myself and not be in my sons business so much he started getting better. I was just as sick as he was, just in a different way. I am much stronger than I was and I can assure you I will never let him live here if I find out he is using as difficult as that is you gave your son a choice I hope he makes the right one. Personally, I am glad you gave him some time and not a couple of days.

    • Lisa says:

      You remind me of myself. I called myself a one woman vigilante. I would rip up letters from jail friends, stalk his friends Facebook pages to see if they were unwinding too (oh and the all too familiar stories when my husband and I would meet up with his friends….Jeeez howwwww is M…I don’t even seeeeeee him anymoooreee cuz I don’t wanna be caught up in what heeee Isssss doing …found out they were doing it too of course! Ugh it is a full time job in itself. One I don’t want to be part of ANY MORE

  4. Lisa2 says:

    I can sympathize with each and every one of you. Unfortunately I am trying to get the courage to ask my 18 year old son to leave my home because of his addiction to H. I know he doesn’t have anywhere to go and its cold out but he is dragging me down this dark hole and I don’t know if I’ll be able to climb out. My husband is no help we are barely speaking to each other because we know not what to do.

  5. sheila says:

    I remember finding some things a few years ago on L’s computer that I REALLY wish I hadn’t found. Very disturbing and upsetting. After that I stopped looking. I still watch her FB page. College finals are going on, but all I see are photos and comments about partying. I mentioned my concerns to her father, but he said not to worry, she has a 4.0. She is smart, and right now she is taking stupidly easy classes, so maybe she can pull it off. But she is avoiding contact with me, which is always a big red flag. Even if her only drug right now is alcohol, given her history of addiction, this path can lead nowhere good for her. I try not to dwell on it.

    Yesterday I spent all day in the ER undergoing tests for some potentially serious stuff. Got cleared on the big stuff, but still trying to figure out why I’m in such pain. I believe the stress of the last 3 years has done a real number on my health, and my body is warning me to take it easy or else.

    madyson, I am SO GLAD to read that either J goes or you go. Good for you! Stay assertive and look out for your own health, cuz ain’t nobody else gonna do it for you!

    Hugs,
    Sheila

  6. Lisa says:

    I read a quote the other day that seems to apply to all of us ‘I am not sure if its killing me OR making me stronger’. How do we realllllyyyy know that?

  7. Beach teacher says:

    Madyson,…damn. I wish you weren’t going through this hellish journey. It truly is the worst,..other than the real worst of those poor parents who have lost their kids. I think you’re making the right decision & I’ll continue to pray for clarity & a real yearning to change for J. It could happen – anything truly is possible. And yes – I was definitely a big wrapper of the kids gifts – but not a bike or stocking stuff. You’ve got me beat ! Those were such happy times in my life – never thought we’d later go through the addiction nightmare,..as I’m sure you & so many others never imagined either. Hang in there – as I said ,..I’ll be praying. Please feel free to e-mail if you’d like to. I relate to you in many ways.
    My e-mail is. 757lmc@gmail.com.

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