#8 “Friendship is like a glass ornament…

once it is broken it can rarely be put back together exactly the same way.” A5320-002l My relationship with my son will never be the same…and that is ok. I have come to terms with that. What hurts the most is the lost innocence in the pure unconditional belief that my son will tell me the truth. That can never be put back together. He could one day earn my trust back but it will be a different kind of trust one that is diluted by past events. A conditional trust that can not ever wipe clean past memories of J’s pure blue eyes looking into mine swearing that all is well knowing that I know he is lying.

 The reality for J may be setting in…What will happen if I really do get thrown out on January 25th??? It must be working it’s way into his thick head. He seems to have pulled himself together once again. Faith that it will last…zero. Is he doing this because he wants to live a sober life with all his heart…how would I know? Probation is about every two or three months which means it is coming up soon. Is he choosing sobriety for himself or to pass his mandatory drug test. I think we all know the answer to that. I hope more than anything he will make me eat those words.

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About madyson007

I am a mom of 4 who thought she was home free with her oldest son when he went off to college. My serious blunder? Genetics and being naive or maybe just plain stupid.
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2 Responses to #8 “Friendship is like a glass ornament…

  1. Annette says:

    There is just as much chance that your relationship will heal and be better than you ever imagined, as there is that it will never be repaired to its fullness. Anything is possible!

  2. sheila says:

    madyson, thank you for posting this. I have been really struggling with my relationship with L right now. I’m pretty good at detaching from her issues – it looks on facebook like she’s doing a lot of drinking but that’s her choice. But she rarely communicates with me. My ex spoils her rotten and I have no excess money, so she has no use for me. It hurts. A lot. Especially around the holidays.

    I have unconditional love for her. But I am still angry about her behavior – how she caused me fear and worry, put me in danger, and wasted so much of our family’s money. I have tried to open some communication about what happened in the past, but she isn’t interested in having that conversation. I am interested in getting together, but we now live 2 hours apart so it’s hard to schedule. Plus I am not willing to let her stay overnight in my home. I don’t trust her enough.

    Your post made me realize though that I can love her without totally trusting her. Sad but good to come to grips with.

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