On Monday night into Tuesday while Hurricane Sandy raged on I started having serious stomach pain. I finally could not take it. I knew it was serious and not going away. My husband was annoyed because he doesn’t do the “sick thing” well and our house was in turmoil. He thought I should call an ambulance…he had already had a couple of beers so I would not have wanted him to drive anyway. Plus he would not do well waiting for me…soooo I drove myself to the hospital. Did I ever tell you guys how well I handle stress…NOT. It was so scary. No power any where and getting there was like going through a pitch dark maze of broken telephone poles, downed wires and trees. In hindsight I probably should not have driven myself but I am glad I did. There was a 3 hour wait in the emergency room! Once I got into triage a nurse took pity on me and put me directly into a bed…thank GOD! I would not have been able to sit and wait 3 hours in the emergency waiting room. It took awhile for a doctor to get to me but they gave me pain meds fairly quickly after examining me and sent me for a CAT scan only guess what? The power went out. The power came up on emergency generators but the cat scan would not work on that so I got in line….and waited 5 hours for them to transport me in an ambulance to another hospital where they did the scan and then sent me back to ER. All the while I got the impression that I was one big nuisance to the ER staff and they had real sick people to take care of. Once my scans got back they were very kind and said I needed to be admitted. I really wanted to yell “Screw you, I knew I was sick and you should care about everyone!”
One last interesting thing happened…My room was next to the nurses “lounge”. I over heard my nurse talking to another doctor about her son saying he was sending her crazy messages like he was depressed, wasn’t sure why he was alive and something about his hair falling out. I didn’t hear what he said but she said yeah “I know it is probably the drugs and withdrawal…”. I didn’t really think anything other than the poor woman has an addict at home and is still at the hospital helping sick people. This nurse was leaving early and got another nurse to cover her…she had to administer my pain meds before she left. She said it had to be morphine that is what the doctor wanted me to have (I could care less I just wanted the pain to go away). So she administered it or something any way. Only it was not pain meds…I felt no relief. I knew from early shots that the relief was instant and this was NOTHING. So I waited for them to kick in and they never did. I asked for more but they said I had just had max dose of Morphine and there was no way they were going to give me more. I waited in pain for 4 hours and got another dose and instant relief. That FREAKING nurse stole my morphine and took it home to her son or took it herself! I told them I didn’t think she gave it to me but they said it is documented and of course she had. Addiction shows up in my life in the weirdest places…I am not sure I would have recognized this incident for what it was if I wasn’t so addiction savvy. I wonder how often this kind of thing happens?
Old News: J appears clean but since I am not convinced he values that, it is very hard for me to put a lot of stock in it. It will take time for me to believe it is for real and something he genuinely wants. Some where along his path to sobriety he decided that occasional use is to be over looked and not really a relapse? I can’t even…
Good News: My dad is home and doing very well. I also am well and got home from the hospital today. I will probably have to have surgery in the near future but for now all is well.
Praying all my East Coast friends did well in the storm…it was a doozy. We will not be recovered from this for months…the Jersey Shore won’t recover fully for YEARS!