My life in bullets….

  • I experience the repercussions of addiction everyday
  • It scares me that we all think this shit is normal
  • J is still J
  • My husband is still my husband
  • I will never again experience that carefree belief that all things are possible
  • Children can bring great joy and great pain
  • I am not an emotionally healthy woman
  • I am sad more often than not
  • I feel stuck in a not so good place
  • I am tired but can no longer rest peacefully

How do I get out of this place?


About madyson007

I am a mom of 4 who thought she was home free when my oldest son went off to college. My serious blunder? Genetics and being naive or maybe just plain stupid.
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3 Responses to My life in bullets….

  1. Sheila says:

    Oh madyson, my heart aches for you. I have been in that place of which you speak, and it feels miserable, but you can get out of it.

    For me, working really hard on detachment was how I got out of that awful place. I know you have mixed feelings about Alanon, but they have some really good essays on detachment. If you’re interested, I will dig out a web link or a book title for you. Let me know.

    I try to remember that my emotions belongs to me, and I try not to let other people dump their miserable emotions on me. A couple of visual images that help when I’m being dumped on – I think of myself as surrounded by a big mirror, or a plastic bubble, and their negativity and toxic words and actions just bounce back or slide off.

    I believe that I have the sacred right – and the sacred obligation – to discern my path in life and to make choices that will allow me to go along that path. Other people also have that right and obligation. Sometimes I don’t like their choices, and sometimes our paths diverge so much that we don’t walk together any more.

    Hugs to you today,

  2. Helga says:

    Madyson, the only person who can change anything is you. It sounds like you are in desperate need of some counseling/advice. A clergy person, counselor, etc. may give you some guidance. I know how hard it is, but it is possible if you are willing to explore alternatives. My counselor asked me what the worst case senerio would be if I took action. Once I figured it out, the rest was not so difficult anymore. I wish you luck. Hugs, Helga

  3. ruby tuesday says:

    Hey there,

    I am a recovering heroin addict and my mother goes to Alanon for support.
    They say it is a family disease and everyone needs to get well not only the addict

    Good luck x

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