I am so disappointed. I like a particular blog and visit often which makes this all the more sad.
When I share my life with you, it is my truth, my reality, my view on a current situation. I do not glamorize, trivialize or minimize the seriousness of addiction. I don’t pretend to know someone else’s addict… I only know what you share. You only know what I share. My life is more than this blog or more than my son’s addiction. I am so sad that every couple of months I feel the need to defend myself from a select few, but it hurts. When I am hurt I blog…so unfortunately you all get to listen.
When I say J is dabbling, casually using, on occasion using or how ever else I might have expressed it…IT IS EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN. Right now that is my reality. I am not delusional nor am I in denial. I do not think that this behavior can continue indefinitely…..it absolutely will lead him back to hell and if it does this time, I am not going to be there to watch. Way back in the day when I started this blog I was in denial. I know and understand exactly what is happening right now. This spiral will continue unless he pulls him self together and on many occasions he has been able to do that. I am fiercely praying that this is one of those times.
Please don’t judge me as stupid. I am an intelligent woman who unfortunately knows more about addiction then I ever wanted. I didn’t want to join this club. THIS CLUB SUCKS!
Just one more thing…There are many of you who probably believe what that poster said but I respect you for just offering an ear and some advice with no judgement attached because that is the community I love with all my heart. This does not mean I only want to hear messages of love. Advice can be freely given with out judgement. Hell, Dawn, Ron and a few others do it all the time and not once have I felt judged by them or made to feel “less than”.
Also, I know I have a few recovering and maybe not recovering addicts who read my blog. Is what I am saying possible?