The one where you can feel things starting to disintegrate but there is not a damn thing you can do about it. He is more than dabbling in it. I can see the alien starting to come back. The glazed look, disinterest, candy…I know he thinks he is in control but I can see that control slipping. He is going to have to leave and I really don’t know how we are going to do this. He finally gets a job earning real money and he is slipping into the dark AGAIN. He honestly thinks he has this under control but it won’t be more than a few days before things completely drop into HELL. There is no such thing as recovery, only remission and he is no longer in remission.
Silly me…I was bummed I had started to gain weight back. This ought to be good for a few pounds. Addiction Sucks! I want out…please don’t let me get pulled back in. I am swimming as fast I can but I think a big dark wave is coming to take me under. I thought with the love he had from his girlfriend he could put this behind him. She may stick around for awhile but she is going to run screaming when she realizes how dark this can get. I feel sorry for her, I know she loves him too.