Vacation was fabulous! We returned today to an immaculately cleaned house with a well manicured lawn, bursting with flowers that must have been watered daily to survive this horrible heat wave. J looked absolutely wonderful. I have not seen him look this good in such a long time. He just looks so healthy…tan and strong! He has been working for the landscaper friend again almost everyday! I am so happy to see a bounce back in his step. Work really does do a body and soul good. I can see it, he feels some satisfaction and has a some self-worth. Please don’t let this end.
I am so pleased with all the progress he has made except for one little thing. My father took it upon him self to pay off all J’s fines…like $5000.00 dollars worth. What bothers me about this is the obvious. He once again was rescued. My parents feel like he has suffered enough and he needs to move past the heavy weight of these fines. I am really confused about whether to be happy or worried? He will be able to drive in 24-48 hours??? Only guess what? We can not insure him on our policy nor can he drive ANY of our vehicles, including the car he considers his own (which we never sold and why is that?). If and when he can afford to pay for his hefty car insurance we would have to relinquish the car to his name because he can not drive any car that falls under our umbrella of insurance. So now we have to give him a car? Not so fast…I am not ready for this.
The only positive about this is that he can apply for any job that requires a driver’s license. The other potential positive is he can dramatically expand his job search beyond our immediate area and he can work any time of the day. The freedom of J having a car terrifies me. I know I need to not overly invest in any of this but it is really hard for me. The driving thing just brings back all sorts of very bad memories. All the horrible concrete consequences that J has experienced happened while he was in his car. Now my parents have erased the fines of those consequences??? Should I be pleased?