Easter egg hunt is over…my kids are in a sugar coma on the couch watching Scooby Doo. I am going to put my stuffed turkey in the oven in about an hour. My husband is working which really is not at all unusual. The kids don’t even ask where he is anymore, in fact they are a little bewildered when he is home saying “Dad, what are you doing home?” LOL
I want to take this opportunity to tell you how much you all mean to me. In March 2010 I could see things disintegrating right before my eyes, it is when I was at my sickest and J was at his lowest. Co-dependency jumps off the page when you read those posts so clearly, I could be the poster child for Ala-non’s “What not to do…”. On April 7, 2010 J was arrested for DUI and possession. I never gave the details but it was pretty bad and he is lucky that he didn’t get jail time.
When I go back and read March 2010 and April 2010…things were so bad with no hope in sight. All of you forced me to see this for what it really was…I think it is some where at this point that I went into self-preservation mode and started extracting myself from J’s life but it was and still is a very long hard road. I honestly don’t know where I would be today if you guys had not come along. I was a very sick woman, vomiting, panic attacks and crying jags like you would not believe. I looked physically ill. I was so thrilled that I had lost all that weight, it never occurred to me that people looking in recognized something that I could not…I was sick.
New parent’s out there reading my blog, go back and read the posts from March 2010 and April 2010. I think it could be an invaluable lesson to see in black and white, how sick your child’s addiction can make you! I could not focus on anything but J’s addiction and that clearly was getting neither of us anywhere.