I am enjoying a lazy, beautiful, sunny Sunday…It is 1:05 in the afternoon and I am still in the t-shirt and sweatpants I slept in last night…LOVE when that happens! I have a Blueberry Sour Cream Pound Cake with a streusel topping baking in the oven and it smells delicious. I am going to give the dogs a bath and then jump in the shower myself. I love days like this.
I spent some of my morning going back and reading earlier posts from this blog. I am happy to say I do see progress in my personal life and my ability to detach but so much is exactly the same. It was painful reading some of my posts. I am amazed that I was able to share some of my darkest and intimate thoughts. The ones I shared about my brother made my heart ache but it was all of your responses that brought tears to my eyes. There is definite value in this blog because otherwise I would still be choking down all those thoughts and feelings. In my real life I am not a big sharing kind of gal believe it or not, so this blog that started out feeling so challenging has become my life saver because of all of you.
I wish things would have changed more dramatically but the subtle changes in J’s behavior are there. It is measurable and I will just have to be happy with that for now. J is reaching desperation point of having no funds again. No handyman jobs have come up for some time now…I will not give him money for his fines or for his personal life. I will supply him with food, shelter and love because that is what I would do for any of my children but he is going to need to find that job, even if it means digging ditches.
Anyone know a guy who needs a ditch dug?