Definition of insanity…

I commented on one of Barbara’s posts that really got me thinking. It is easy for me to stand by J and support him when he is doing the right thing by making good choices. When J messes up, my immediate reaction is raging anger, quickly followed by such profound disappointment that I am ready to turn my back and walk away. The odd thing is…I don’t walk away? Why? Self preservation doesn’t seem to easily kick in for our children and evidently not for many parents either. The sane thing to do after getting burned so many times is to walk away. J making a poor choice followed by me making a poor choice is the definition of insanity…and that my dears is what makes this merry-go-round spin. One day I want to be really strong and hop off…I am just not strong enough to do that yet but I am working on it. AND when I am ready, I am taking Barbara with me!

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About madyson007

I am a mom of 4 who thought she was home free with her oldest son when he went off to college. My serious blunder? Genetics and being naive or maybe just plain stupid.
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5 Responses to Definition of insanity…

  1. Dawn M McCoy says:

    When you look around you, and all you see is huge pyramids of discontent…you are knee deep in the river ‘de-nile’ ! ❤

  2. Ron Grover says:

    It’s a process. Think of a dog on one of those retractable leash. They get only as far away as the owner/master allows them to go.

    You have to realize that J is the one holding the leash. You are getting only as far away as he will allow you to go right now. To get the dog back you have to call it, if it won’t come you get closer and run faster to shorten the leash. J is the one controlling you.

    The learning you haven’t discovered yet is you know how to unhook the clip on your leash.

    Unhook your connection but that doesn’t mean you have to run away. Allow yourself to set the distance you choose to be. Close when it is right but put that distance when it is appropriate.

    You have the control! Nobody expects perfection but you, we will applaud effort and continuous improvement.

  3. Helga says:

    Why is it when it comes to our kids that we forget that we have control? Because we are parents and scared to death that by controlling our own destiny, we are losing our kids. We don’t have to be involved in our children’s lives in order to love them. I know, I am on this road, but I live my own life, controlled by me. I compare it to no longer participating by refusing to be a tool of their trade. No matter what analogy you use, the result is the same. Control you own destiny, or your addict child will. The choice is yours.

  4. Barbara says:

    Thanks, Madyson, I’ll go with you! I am being challenged at this very moment. Two days of sober living and he doesn’t think he can stand not using. I encouraged him to stay (so far so good) but was prepared to say NO about coming home.

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