Just a guess…

but I don’t think he got the job. The person in charge of that department won’t even return his phone call. I don’t understand it? This is twice now that he has gone for a job, they love him, he comes back and interviews again, they love him. He waits for the final call and nothing. It is like they finally run his paper work and discover whatever it is they discover. It is so depressing…for all involved.

I have been surprisingly feeling very low. I really thought this letting go thing would be much easier on my aching heart than it really has turned out to be. I ache on many different levels. I am worried about choices my other other children are making or should I say not making. They are so young and I just want to do the right thing by them. I really feel like I am failing everyone right now. I am not being a very good mother nor am I being a very good wife.

Just feels hard lately…


About madyson007

I am a mom of 4 who thought she was home free when my oldest son went off to college. My serious blunder? Genetics and being naive or maybe just plain stupid.
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9 Responses to Just a guess…

  1. Lisa Carp says:

    You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. There is so much residual pain that comes from addiction, quite often years after the addiction has passed. My niece and her fiance and his 6 year old son attempted to get into Section 8 housing. Because of her record, they were not accepted even though her name would not even be on the lease! This is another leftover from 10+ years of addiction and all that went with it.

    Don’t be so hard on yourself. Everyone has difficult times. You are a good mother and a good wife. You are just in a down period but it doesn’t change who or what you are. It is okay to love yourself; and let others love you as well.

  2. Lou says:

    I hope he doesn’t get discouraged. Anybody with a history of incarceration is going to have a hard time. That fact is readily available on the internet, you don’t even have to pay to find that out. Getting a work history is key, he just has to keep trying. Maybe he could take a few classes (or one class) to keep him occupied. Too much free time was always trouble for my son.

  3. Lou says:

    I had to come back because now I can’t remember if J actually went to prison or just got a conviction. Sorry, if I got that wrong!! Most employers pay a service to check everyone out these days.

    Whatever happened, it is the PAST, and I pray something good happens for him soon.

  4. Barbara says:

    Sorry to hear about the job situation for J, that’s discouraging. I hope he can keep moving forward and not let it get to him, but dang, what’s their problem not even returning a call!

    I’m sorry you’re feeling down. I wish I had something to say to make you feel better. Its hard. I hate what all this does to us.

    I don’t know how Kev is going to find a job with a felony and no prior experience. 😦

  5. Syd says:

    I don’t think that you need to beat yourself up. You are doing the best that you can.

  6. Beeachteacher says:

    I know it’s discouraging,…because it sure is hard with any type of record. My son has numerous convictions, although none are felonies ,…only by the grace of God & a very good attorney. Nevertheless,…as I said, numerous convictions & not one job reference he could give due to having been fired or stopped showing up at every job he ever had,..due to drug use. : (

    But,…when he moved out of state & got into recovery,..he ended up getting a job at Pep Boys by filling out an application & asking to see the manager & telling him the truth up front. He said he was starting his life over & just needed a 1 week chance to show what a naturally hard worker he is. (that’s true , when clean). He got the job & ended up there for a number of months ! He ended up not knowing enough about fixing cars to keep working there, but from that,..was ableto get a great recommendation for applying to the next place (chik filet),…where he was again up front with the manager,…who gave him a chance. Fast food isnt his goal,..but it’s a job & helps pay his living expenses. He starts college this summer & is hoping to work part time at a Guitar Center store when there’s an opening. He’s going to offer to work for free for 1 week to try & get a job there. The point is,… maybe being honest could be an in-road to a job. I know it’s a novel thought for an addict(it was for my son). I’ll keep J’s job situation in my prayers. God bless & good luck. It’s important for them to keep busy too,…as well as helping them to start feeling proud of themselves.

  7. blake minnerly says:

    Hello, my name is blake minnerly (bminnerly@nmmediaarts.org) and I am a teacher at the Media Arts Collaborative Charter School, in Albuquerque, NM. Last year we lost a student to heroin overdose. She was only 16. In reaction, the students in my music production class have been working on a project, a CD of original Hip Hop and a music video, dedicated to her and meant to raise awareness about the danger of opiate addiction amongst teens. We want to get a copy to every school in the city. We have launched a fundraising campaign on indiegogo and I am asking for help in spreading the word. So I am contacting bloggers such as yourself, who understand the issue and the danger. The link is


    I hope very much your son recovers and that together we all can begin to combat this tragic problem.

  8. sheila says:

    The city where I used to work hired ex-cons to do landscaping. It was grueling work, but it was a job. Might be a place to start.

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