We live in a nice neighborhood, ya know the kind of place where you might leave your car unlocked. Soooooo….from my previous post you know my husband got me a new car. So my old one was parked in the driveway, unlocked. A neighborhood boy (23 years old) went into my old car and opened the garage with the door opener and helped himself to my husbands 30 pack of beer. HE CAME INTO MY GARAGE when I was at work!
My husbands first FURIOUS thoughts were “J stole beer out of the fridge…” except J was next door playing video games with a friend from high school. My husband walked over there and confronted them both and said “Where the hell is my BEER?”. (Yeah, I know…I really am married to him and under a lot of circumstances I really love him but I am getting the same visual as you are…like horns with fire shooting out of his nose and ears.) There was no beer or anything in sight and they were both stone cold sober. Then another neighbor called me and asks if I knew about “neighbor boy” walking up and around the neighborhood, drunk off his hiney. She said, “Don’t worry I called his mom and she came and dragged him home”. Ugh!
My first reaction is…OH GOD this poor mom had to drag her drunk son home while a bunch of stay at home mommies watched, judged and then gossiped. My husbands reaction to that news was to call the police. Good lord, I was so torn about the whole thing. I begged my husband not to. I did not want to bring anymore shame on this poor mother because I know that feeling…been there, done that, got the postcard. Turns out that on the shame scale, this was a pretty minor incident. Other’s wanted to share but I really was not interested in hearing.
The police went to his (parents) house and the only thing he could tell them is he has absolutely no recollection of ever being in our house, at least that is what they think he said. He was slurring so badly they had trouble understanding him. Well, that is comforting…not. I guess the police and “neighbor boy” know each other on a first name basis. AND I thought we were the only spectacles in our neighborhood. Go Figure?
There is just one thing that has really nagged me. His mom just went on and on how it could not possibly be her son. That he was sick and an alcoholic but not a thief. I am not sure if it bothered me because I see my own enabling and blind behaviors in this woman, or because there is no way that I can MAKE her see it. The police asked if she knew where he got alcohol today and she said she didn’t know. Hmm, mom do you think he might have gotten it out of someones house? She is not there. Her son’s addiction has been going on for what sounds like many years and she is just not ready to see it for what it is. I on the other hand want to scream it on the top of my lungs, so her life and her son’s life might change.
The other part of me is so very afraid that I could be right back where this woman is tomorrow! There are no guarantees that I would continue to be strong if J made some bad choices. We could all be back living in the same hell I see in that woman’s eyes. The son may be living in hell too but he is way to high to care. Just a mom suffering in denial…