The idea of all of us going into counseling is an excellent idea. The idea of driving J to different places to find a job is an excellent idea and necessary. The idea of adding the job I desperately hope he gets to my schedule…ugh. The implementation of all those ideas makes me want to cry. Add those excellent ideas to commitments that already exist and you have a full time job. MY, Me, mine,——> second full time job. I don’t want to whine because I know it is selfish and I know these things need to get done but I want to go lock myself in a closet with a blanket and a binkie.
I will call next week and see if I can get at least the kids and I into counseling because it is what needs to be done. My husband will not agree and I do not have any energy left to argue about this. I often wonder how people work out all these appointments and commitments into their lives without having a nervous breakdown? I was suppose to schedule a CAT scan for myself, in August and still have not come up with a date yet. How do mom’s do it? I must be missing some part of the equation because I see mothers managing it and in fact doing it quite well. I feel like I walk through life floundering and winging it all the time…I hate it. How do mom’s help their kids with homework, make dinner, do laundry, clean the house, drive to karate, cheerleading, tumbling, grocery shop, the dentist, the doctor, probation, community service…the list is endless and work a full time job?????? NOBODY IS EVER on the same dang schedule. You know when I get into counseling it will be different days and times for us all….forget it, I will just schedule the kids.
I know I am whining and I really will suck up and get it done but I just needed to vent…I apologize in advance for you having to read it.