Relapse is never far from mind…

I am worried. We left J at home and I really thought this was going to be easy. I thought I trusted him enough not to worry. Guess what? I am not that evolved of a creature. I am starting to obsess a little about “Is he making good choices? Are my dogs being well cared for?” and I really need to stop. Not being able to see for myself is just so hard. Please send a prayer out to J that he continues to make good choices because the alternative is the most awful thing I can contemplate. I want to believe…please God hear my prayer.

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About madyson007

I am a mom of 4 who thought she was home free with her oldest son when he went off to college. My serious blunder? Genetics and being naive or maybe just plain stupid.
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7 Responses to Relapse is never far from mind…

  1. Syd says:

    I hope that all will be well. I find it best not to project or have any expectations.

  2. Helga says:

    Worrying about it does not good. It will either work out or not. You can’t control J’s action. You trusted him enough so let him show you that he earned your trust. If it does not work out, then you know what to do next time.

  3. Barbara says:

    From one “not that evolved” mom to another: I understand how you feel and keep hoping that mom’s like us someday get to the place where we can let go. I agree with all the helpful sayings about detaching, not worrying, let go let god, etc. My mind gets all that – unfortunatley my heart has a mind of its own. I am very close with my son and even when he was a little kid, I felt sick when he was sick. I will pray that he makes good choices and that you can be proud of him when you return and one step closer to evolving into the mom that is better at detaching wit love and not worrying 🙂
    PS Today I feel like if I took one bit of food I would throw up, I am waiting to hear what will happen next for Kev (again).

  4. Deirdre says:

    Blessings to you and your son. I know the worry, but we really must give our anxiety to God and ask Him to care for our loved one and restore our hearts and minds to peace. We are walking in just about the same shoes. May God abundantly bless you. 🙂 Deirdre

  5. beachteacher says:

    I get this very much….very much. However, call this strange, but I personally find that the more I’m able to really accept that my son may relapse….it is somehow a bit calming to me,..odd as that sounds. For me, the more I have a mindset of “of course he can’t relapse again….there’s no way he could ever succeed/recover if he does…or I can’t handle it one more time”……the more freaked out and anxious I get. That all of nothing thinking is a very bad mode for me,…and feels more hopeless.

    Therefore, IF I truly accept that of course, he may relapse again…..and of course, that also doesn’t mean he’ll never have lasting recovery….the more I can have some peace of mind. Meaning…..all kinds of things are possible….including good ones,…even if bad ones intermittently break through. I hope this makes sense. I just know that for me,……the fear is a killer…..and I work hard to know that it’s really a false enemy,…for even though really bad things may happen (ie. relapse and it’s effects)…..good things can still follow.

    Hang in there and please just try to visualize the positive…and have a good time. You know…no news is normally good news.

  6. Dee Dawson says:

    In my son’s treatment center I saw that one word all over the place — “Believe…”

    Even in the dining room. Wooden carved versions….photographs…plastic letters on the mantel…printed in marker on a white board….

    We can do this! So I’m sending “Believe” thoughts to all the moms. (I would send plaques and doo-dads to everyone, including myself, if I thought it would help.)

  7. Tori Lee says:

    What will be will be. Enjoy your time away. I am with Barbara, we all know what we should do but I am not quite there to just “let go” yet so I understand the worry.

    Not only will I pray for J but for you to have a wonderful time away.

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