Just sensitive I guess…

I am watching my son experience all sorts of consequences and prejudices for some very bad choices. In recovery or not it can be a hard life.

I really think being an active addict who wants no help and is ready to accept the possibility of death as a consequence… There will never be a rock bottom for them just despair. They will not understand that stealing your grandmothers ring or your baby brothers savings bonds, or your dying aunts medication is the lowest of the low. They are and will be living exclusively to chase that high. PERIOD.

The thing is, could there possibly be a different kind of addict who is active in his disease can’t help himself and hates what he is doing . He wants help, he wants out of this life but just doesn’t know how to make that happen. Even when he is offered help, he fails and then fails again but he is chasing the idea of being clean and sometimes that is all it is to them an idea. We know that some will discover that it can be done…

Are these two addicts the same? Should they still be treated the same? I don’t really know the answer but would like to hear what you all have to say. After reading the above descriptions, I think it is possible to be both “kinds” at different times in an addicts life.  BUT, I still think someone who is “trying” deserves our help and compassion.

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About madyson007

I am a mom of 4 who thought she was home free with her oldest son when he went off to college. My serious blunder? Genetics and being naive or maybe just plain stupid.
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7 Responses to Just sensitive I guess…

  1. beachteacher says:

    oh yes….you described it well…and they’re the same guy,….most often. I’ve seen exactly what you’re saying. My son (and others I know too) have been both of those guys…at the same time. : (

  2. onemomtalking says:

    I agree with beachteacher. They’re the same guy. At lease sometimes. I do think there are different levels though. For instance, my older son used more drugs more often than my younger son. When he was in it, he was in it deep. And he’d steal – but he wouldn’t steal any of my personal things. i don’t know why he was able to draw that line. My younger, he tried to fight it all along — and yet couldn’t stop. He stole too – said he couldn’t stop himself. I don’t know. It’s so hard to understand.

  3. Dawn M McCoy says:

    Almost exclusively, ALL addicts want to quit. Just like I want to quit smoking. The ones that don’t have to steal don’t steal. The ones that don’t have any income or means to obtain drug of choice will steal. Its the nature of the addiction. Being that low won’t make them quit. Addicts must use, or be dope sick. As long as they use, they must have more. Eventually, there is no such thing as a “genteel” addict. The drug always comes before anything else at the end of the day. Family, friends’, health, heirlooms, doesn’t matter.

  4. Tori Lee says:

    I think they are the same too. Obviously, some are worse than other addicts and every addict has a different rock bottom. I believe my son is the one at this moment, who is fighting, trying so hard to stay clean, but just doesn’t quite get it. He is still fooling himself thinking he can do it, keep his user friends, go to parties, etc. he knows he needs help, even states he is 50/50 on going to rehab but doesn’t really want to go. I also know a few addicts who never stole and stayed completely away from family as to not to involve them. I think it is possible to be both kinds.

  5. Barbara says:

    Its hard for me to say — I think both can exist in the same person. With Keven, I saw him be the active addict that wanted no help. Even when forced in rehab the first time – I think he just “talked the talk” and was counting the days to get out and use again. But now I see him the other way, truly wanting recovery, but still falling.

    Anthony has always been the active addict that will do anything and hurt anyone to get what he needs. I’ve never seen him really try to get clean.

    I think having a loving family helps and I agree that when they are trying, they need our compassion and understanding.

  6. Dawn says:

    They are the same. An addict will do whatever they have to do to get their drug when it comes down to it. No matter where they came from, no matter who their family is. Some just do a better job of hiding it from loved ones than others or, maybe their loved one doesn’t want to believe the truth. I don’t believe anyone one wants to be an addict.

  7. Cheri says:

    Madyson,

    I think they are the same, too. I think we all have both of those personalities inside us … the one driven by the lust of what we want without care to the cost to anyone or anything in our path, and the one who has recognized the depravity of their condition and the desire to do better. We should have compassion on one who truly wants help and desires to get better; after all, that is exactly what God has done with each one of us. In His great compassion, He provides a way through His Son for us to find our way out of our darkness.

    In Him,
    Cheri

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