My kind heart and great sense of style…

Three years ago when I went on Wellbutrin for depression an amazing thing happened. I felt better! I came out of this gloomy cloud and an interesting side effect transformed my life. My self-diagnosed ADHD improved dramatically. It was a very pleasant side effect.  Now I have had ADHD all my life but when I was younger it was just not talked about or really addressed the way it is now. My disorganization, lack of focus and failure to pay attention to the details was always swept under the rug or blamed on other things. Things like, l was one of the very youngest in school because of my fall birthday, or it is a stage that children grow out of. As I got older I blamed it on other things, I just had a baby or well heck I have 4 kids now and on and on the excuses went.  Well, lately these symptoms have come back in full force. I am not sure if it is because J’s addiction no longer consumes my life so other things have become a little clearer or my medication is no longer working as well.

Yesterday I was driving down the road behind a senior citizen. I was so irritated. Under normal circumstances I might mutter under my breath. Yesterday, I yelled “Drive your damn car or get off the road and die”.  After, I said it I actually laughed out loud because I could not believe that came out of my mouth! This is not my normal demeanor umm mostly.

Another thing that has really been bothering me is my lack of attention AGAIN. I have always been a PROLIFIC reader. The best thing about summer for me has always been the extra time I would have to catch up on all my reading. I have been trying to finish one book for the last 6 month not just one particular book but any damn book! Heck I am having trouble watching an entire movie.

I have a doctors appointment on the 25th. I have never really addressed these issues with my doctor the side effect of Wellbutrin helping my adhd was just a delightful thing that was stumbled upon. Now it is no longer working. Can a woman in her 40’s go to the doctor and say I want to be treated for ADHD.

Sadly, I have passed this happy trait on to three of my 4 children. J is the only one currently being treated for his ADHD. It makes a startling difference in his daily life when he takes it regularly. I think my youngest son will also be medicated for adhd by the end of the summer.

After it is all said and done would it have been to much to ask that my children inherit my best traits like a kind heart and a great sense of style? I’m just sayin’.

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About madyson007

I am a mom of 4 who thought she was home free with her oldest son when he went off to college. My serious blunder? Genetics and being naive or maybe just plain stupid.
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4 Responses to My kind heart and great sense of style…

  1. Gal says:

    Sounds like hormone hell to me! Welcome to menopause. I stormed out of a fantastic job one day when I was in my mid-to-late 40’s. Fortunately, management asked me to stay, but I went the next day and had my doctor put me on hormones. Life became better then. I don’t recommend hormones to anyone, but for me it became a quality of life issue. (and I chose to take them for a few years, despite a relatively high risk for breast cancer.) I’ve been off of them for a few years now, but I’m well out of menopause at 57.
    -Gal

  2. Tori Lee says:

    I could have written that blog. I am a January baby and started school way too young. I never did great in school, but I tried. B’s and mostly C’s were the best I could hope for. I was a long time ago maybe 20 years told I had ADHD. I guess I was just used to it and didn’t want anything.

    Things got way worse as B’s addiction did. I couldn’t complete one task if my life depended on it. Kitchen half clean and then I move on to dusting. Read a book and do not remember a thing I read.

    I did go on Well-Butrin for some months but I didn’t feel that big of a difference so I stopped. Recently, I went to my Doctor and told her I simply couldn’t manage this anymore and as anti-drug as I am I need something. Out came the test which I took and her reply was that was about the worst case of ADHD she had seen in a long time. Funny thing is, I was worried about all the 4’s I was marking and lied and put some 2’s in there for good measure (or balance). I didn’t want to fail the test (DUH!) and didn’t think all 4’s were good.

    So my choice was well-butrin or Addereall. I told her that I felt well-butrin was more for depression and I wasn’t depressed. I wanted something that would focus on my constant “all over the place”. I have now been on adderall for two months. It is a huge improvement. I still have it and it still shows but it is so much better I can’t even tell you.

    My boss came up to me about 2 weeks ago and asked if I was on something. WTF? He told me that we actually had a 15 minute meeting without me going off on 10 topics and him trying to keep up. He has known me for years and just chalked my craziness up to dealing with my son. I am calmer, I am not as nervous and I think clearer. I am no where near as hyper as I was.

    Keep us posted.

  3. Syd says:

    I would like to know what works. A good friend of mine is a recovering alcoholic who I suspect has terrible ADHD. It would be good if he would be treated. But he is in denial. Good luck with getting a solution. It would be good to know how your new meds work.

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