I won’t be blogging anymore…

I don’t think I understood how I came across as a person until someone blogged about it. This person didn’t do it maliciously she simply stated what I looked like to her living and posting about my life. It was ugly and I didn’t like it. If that person sees me as a pathetic enabler who blogs for comments then others must see me like that too and that is enough to make me stop.

I will always follow this blogging community…I just won’t be posting anymore. I will leave this blog up because I really do hope a struggling parent might stumble upon this and gain some insight or help or comfort that they are not alone. Maybe it will direct them to all of you very wise wonderful people.

I have never been anything but honest. I have laid my life on the line… the good the bad and the very ugly. I am not proud or ashamed of anything I have said …it just is. The one regret I have is blogging about my husband. I new I should have kept my husbands issues out of this blog. It took me a long time to blog about them, I should have listened to my gut. It may be the most valuable lesson I have ever learned. Listen to your instincts they know what they are talking about.

I have gone to a couple of meetings and hope to find support in the real world. Maybe this is God’s perfect timing and this is where I say good bye.

If you have knowledge on the workings of wordpress please drop me an email. I want to keep this blog intact but disabled if that makes sense. There must be a way to do that.

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About madyson007

I am a mom of 4 who thought she was home free with her oldest son when he went off to college. My serious blunder? Genetics and being naive or maybe just plain stupid.
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28 Responses to I won’t be blogging anymore…

  1. Ron Grover says:

    I hope you think about what you get out of blogging. This is something you do for you. You have loyal readers, followers and true friends out here and if blogging helps you then don’t let what someone says deter you. If you are getting nothing then the decision is yours.

    From my point of view this is for you. I read this blog because I care and sometimes that is enough.

  2. Annette says:

    I am so sorry to hear this. I also wanted you to know that the comment you left a few posts ago was not why I took that post down. You apologized and I couldn’t find a way to email you to say it was ok. It wasn’t you! So I am just
    Posting it here and I hope that’s ok. I hope you eventually find your way back to blogging if it’s really what you want to be doing. Many blessings to you.

  3. Kay says:

    I’m so sorry you were hurt by someone’s comments. But one person’s opinion does not necessary reflect how the rest of us feel. I have subscribed to your blog and read every post because you are real and honest. You help me know that I’m not alone in this journey. I hope you’ll reconsider your decision. But whatever you do, if you need support, feel free to contact me by email: onemomtalking@gmail.com.

  4. Erin says:

    Don’t go….You are good for lots of folks!

  5. Gal says:

    Goodness! What happened? I assume someone was cruel. The world is full of cruel, unhappy people. Ignore it and continue if you find release in blogging.
    -Gal

  6. beachteacher says:

    Oh…I am so disappointed,..you’re one of my favorite bloggers. I love to read what you write…your spirit of honesty is wonderful and I have really come to care about you. I wish you wouldn’t stop, but totally understand that you need to do what feels right for you. If you’d like to e-mail me,please do, anytime. Be well. here’s my e-mail: SCote23924@aol.com

  7. Dawn M McCoy says:

    You will be missed, and you will always be loved πŸ™‚

  8. Lisa says:

    You have kept me going for so long. You gave given me hope that sobriety can happen for my son and made me see that I must go on for my other kids. Please don’t stop blogging. Don’t let one persons opinion do that to you. We are a community of people coming together to share a common bond that outsiders could never understand. You are valuable !!!

  9. Lou says:

    You know what I get out of Alanon? It’s not a cryfest, it’s not about complaining. I learn to be a better person for ME…not for anyone else. I learn to trust my inner intuition, and not worry about what others think of me or say about me.

    You have a real wit, I enjoy your blog. Also, unlike some other blogs, I can
    see your growth..as a person, a mother, a wife. We all have our problems. I didn’t take your words about your husband as you hated him or anything like that. I took it as you processing your feelings.

    Whatever you decide to do, I appreciate the support you have shown me. And best of luck to J. Families aren’t perfect, but they are all we got at the end of the day. Yours sounds just like mine–everyone doing the best they know how.

  10. Renee C says:

    I am so sorry that someone’s malicious comments and self centeredness is stopping you. I have lived this with you for the past 1 1/2 yrs. If it was not for you and my two other bloggers that I have followed I don’t think I would be here right now. You have kept me sane in an insane world. I am so sorry that someone has made such a statement that you are stopping. I will miss your blogs because most times it is just how I feel but I havent set up a blog myself.

    If you ever want to get together, you ahve my email address and my #. I think it would be beneficial to both of us. We do not live that far away from each other and I would love to sit down and talk and be support to each other.
    Thanks for all you have done and I hope you change your mind.
    Hugs to you. Hope to see you sometime soon πŸ™‚

  11. Terri says:

    So sorry to read this! It seems many that have walked in your shoes before you like to shut the door on where they came from, and perhaps it is painful for them to re-visit those same feelings you currently have.

    I also have seen growth in your postings, and I know processing my thoughts through the written word has been so helpful – I like going back through my journal & reading where I was then, and where I am now. I just wish I had the focus & commitment to contribute regularly to a blog of my own,

    It seems like you are in a place where, despite all the positive comments of those that follow you, that one critical person is where you can’t help but focus. I know that feeling and I understand, but please realize THAT person “needs a program”, because the one they’re working ain’t working!

    I truly hope you’ll reconsider, but if you don’t, I hope you take care of yourself & be good to yourself and find some serenity, b/c it IS out there, for ANY and EVERY one. It’s just that there are so many different paths getting there, and sadly, even those that attend Al-Anon meetings regularly seem to be unable to find a path out of their misery. Don’t be one of THEM, okay?

    Best & warm wishes to you, J, your marriage, and your family!

  12. Terri says:

    Oops, I meant to say “even SOME that attend Al-Anon meetings regularly…”

  13. notmyboy says:

    Nope! You aren’t allowed to stop blogging. I forbid it! Get your fingers over here and write about how you’ve seen the light and you refuse to be bullied away. We care about you, all of us bloggers who pathetically enable from time to time and LOVE comments on our blogs. Seriously, the answer is no. You may not leave our little corner of cyberspace. We’ve claimed it, and you have a chair with your name on it (oh see, you’re sitting on it right now).

    Your J is our J. The Bible says “Thou shalt not leave us hanging, not knowing whether if he use-ith or stay-ith clean.”….ok, it really doesn’t say that, but it should. LOL

    Looking forward to your next posting. Seriously, I’ll be sitting here waiting…

  14. Deirdre says:

    Thanks for sharing your heart and life with us. Blogging is a vulnerable process that takes courage and honesty; you have shown both. I know your writings have been a blessing to many struggling parents, me included. I pray God’s very, very best for you and your family.

  15. beachteacher says:

    I second the comment that Not My Boy said ! We’d miss you too much !

  16. Tori Lee says:

    I really hope you don’t stop but I know you have to do what you feel is right. Reading your blog and a few others have helped me so much. A few posts ago someone made some comments that really hurt me and made me wonder if there was any truth to what they were saying and if I should keep blogging. Everyone will have their opinion but it doesn’t mean they are right. For me it helps so a few harsh comments won’t prevent me from seeking the help from other parents that have been where I am. I have never read your blog and thought you were pathetic OR trying to get sympathy. Please think about it and if this has helped you at all please keep writing. You will be missed if you don’t keep writing.

  17. Barbara says:

    NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can’t stop! Are you sure someone said that about you? It seems very mean-spirited. I look at you as another mom in this hellish nightmare who is doing her best, who loves her son and who is open and honest. We all screw up sometimes. Just like the addicts in our lives we learn and grow and do our best but sometimes we take two steps forward and one step back.

    Please don’t leave! If you do leave, maybe you can have a private blog or some way of updating us on how things are going for your family. I don’t want to lose touch with you.

    Sorry, I’m a Blogger girl – don’t know jack crap about WordPress πŸ™‚

  18. Syd says:

    Don’t let the bastards get you down! Not everyone is going to like me or what I write. So be it. I hope that you will reconsider. For every one person who makes a bad comment, there are so many others who are helped by what you do here. We can’t change what others think but we can speak our own truth.

  19. Barbara says:

    I just left a comment for you over at “Patiently Waiting”. All of these comments from people who care about you and your family say way more than any comment that made you feel bad. I hope my comments never make anyone feel bad, its never my intention but sometimes I go back and read what I said (like my earlier comment here) and think “that didn’t come out right…..”. you are loved.

  20. Lou says:

    I’ve searched all around the blogs..and I can’t figure out who said this??

    • madyson007 says:

      I think it hurts so much because it was the very first person who brought me to all of you. She was the person who put out an all call to let this community know that there was another parent hurting…that parent was me.

      She was not malicious in her recent post she was just frank. I do not judge her or condemn her in any way. Some people say things to be mean but I do not think that was her goal with her off handed comments. I guess it really bothers me that anyone can see me like that especially her. If she sees me like that then who else does?

      I will lick my wounds and come back. I won’t be able to help myself. I have already had three different things I would have liked to have blogged about but I feel to self conscious right now. Thank you all for your love. I feel it, really I do…and I feel the same way about all of you!

      • Dawn M McCoy says:

        I am sitting here hoping like heck that it wasn’t some stupid comment that I made some morning when I had just gotten up in the vain hope that I could catch up on my readings without interruptions. Or, that I wasn’t stressed and in a particularly evil mood. It may not have been me at all, but dear heart, if it was, please don’t stop. I try really hard to not post comments when I am stressed, but I don’t always win. I care deeply about you, pray for your family daily and would miss you horribly. If it was me, please accept my apology for what was apparently a callous and unfeeling statement. No, I don’t actually know if it was me or not. But I do recognize that it could be me. Please, don’t stop. We are all too important to each other.

  21. madyson007 says:

    OH MY Goodness Dawn..of course it is not you silly. It is someone who reads my blog but does not post much. She doesn’t really post much on her own blog anymore either. Sounds like she is kind of moving on. It is ok. All my regular commenters it most certainly not any of you. I am not sure she will ever really know how she made me re-evaluate and I am not sure that it matters. I will be fine and I am sure I will be back. For the love of God I can’t even keep myself from commenting. How long can I possibly last without posting?

  22. Dee Dawson says:

    Just so you know – you are the very first blog I found in this community. I read your words, then read several (if not all) of your previous posts, then moved on to the blogs you followed. I finally realized “I am not alone”. Isolation is destructive…you cannot know how much you helped me. Big hugs!! ~Dee

  23. Momma says:

    I hope you will continue to blog. I love your blog, and do you know why? Because you are real. You are stumbling, like me, through the addiction of her son. Please, don’t quit. And don’t change… I appreciate your honesty, and your thoughts.

    BTW, Thanks for all you’ve shared so far…

  24. Cheri says:

    Madyson,

    I saw your post last week, and I was on the run, as seems to be my life these days. I wanted to find time to get back here and post my thoughts.

    I don’t post comments often anymore myself. My son was addicted; he worked his recovery and has recently celebrated five years’ soberiety. I know there is always a chance that he could stumble, and my heart will always be with parents who are living the nightmare.

    I had to take a job and that keeps me from my first love, my cyber community and the people God has brought into my life. It is a privilege to pray for each other, and though my comments are scarce, the prayers have never stopped.

    I’m glad to see that you are not planning to stop blogging forever, and I just want you to know that I see much spiritual growth in you. Just the way you have responded to the commenter who unwittingly hurt you shows a maturity of character that many of us would like to have.

    God bless you,
    Cheri

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