J losing this job is a just a bump in the road, hopefully on the way to getting even a better job. I am and should be grateful that he is handling it well. It is my husband who does not handle these things well. It is just another excuse for him to berate his son. J will not look hard enough, long enough, in the right places, on the right day for a job blah blah blah…giving my husband the excuse to humiliate him. J will make this worse by not giving it his all because this is the stuff that is hard for J. Job interviews and explaining big gaps in his work history is hard for people with excellent social skills, let alone a recovering addict with just adequate social skills. J is also limited by transportation issues. We do not live in a town with buses, train or even taxi’s. It will fall back to him depending on us to get him some where, and I am ok with that but it will have to be on my terms. All of these factors make getting a job complicated at best. The landscaping job was like a dream come true…K would pick him up in the AM and drop him off in the PM. None of us should have taken that for granted.
I sometimes feel like I have a 5th child…my husband and it is not endearing AT ALL! His behavior can be so childish and selfish. I rarely recognize that I am also an enabler to my husband. I allow him to treat us poorly and except these behaviors that escalate when he drinks. The things is, I am not really sure how to change those things. The dynamics between a husband and wife seem much more difficult to navigate than a mom and child…(although that was pretty ugly too at times).