If this magic implodes…

I feel like I am getting lazy…well not exactly lazy, maybe I am just letting my guard down? It feels uncomfortable, kind of like I am asking for trouble. I really think no matter how much I try to keep my expectations low and enjoy the moment the mommy who wants everything for her son continues to creep back in. I just can’t hold her under the surface. I talk about the future with J, my hopes and dreams for him. I am being so stupid…I know it, but I still can’t help myself. Has anyone died from disappointment and sorrow? If this magic implodes, I am just not sure I can make it.

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About madyson007

I am a mom of 4 who thought she was home free with her oldest son when he went off to college. My serious blunder? Genetics and being naive or maybe just plain stupid.
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5 Responses to If this magic implodes…

  1. beachteacher says:

    oh Madyson, I so get this. I know. It’s so damn hard.

  2. Barbara says:

    If it implodes, you can deal with it then and you’ll have the support of those of us who understand. In the meantime, allow your hopes and dreams but always with that knowledge in the back of your head that life (with or without addiction) doesn’t always go the way we dream it should.

  3. Kristi says:

    I think what you’re feeling is very natural. You are, afterall, j’s mother, regardless of everything. My son is facing a 5 year prison sentence, yet I still have hopes and dreams for him. I’m trying to see this as a beginning and not an end. Perhaps this is the turning point….I pray so. You know it all rests in J’s hands, but I think it’s a positive thing for J to see you supporting him with hopes and dreams. I know it’s hard and it puts us in a vulnerable place, but J is worth it. Hang in there and offer it up to God. God doesn’t bring us to it unless He can bring us through it. Hang in there and keep the faith praying for all of us. Try to relax and just enjoy
    your time together Love & prayers, krisri

  4. Dawn McCoy says:

    Mady sweetie. Let go of the dreams and live in the present. It’s all we have. Celebrate the present, or survive it and wait for tomorrow to come. {{{hugs}}}

  5. Syd says:

    Take care and keep the hope in your heart. I know that expectations will let me down but hope will not.

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