Under pressure, literally and figuratively…

I had surgery yesterday and J had court. I could have done without the extra pressure. I am feeling ok. My stomach is so bloated, I think I will feel much better once that goes away. I guess when you have laparoscopic abdominal surgery they inflate your stomach with carbon dioxide for easy viewing. It’s painful. I have my bottle of percosets under my pillow. J asked me to just hold on to them, he really did not want to run across them. He say’s he doesn’t believe that he would want any but really does not want to be tested. I really am proud of him.

My husband dropped J off at court and dropped me off at the hospital. I don’t think my husband realizes it, but he adds so much pressure to my life. I know I have touched on my husbands drinking “issue” but it is getting worse. When he is feeling any kind of pressure he drinks more than usual and we all pay for it. He is unreasonable and acts childish. He verbally tortures J and I feel so bad for all involved. I understand why he is so angry but it is not fair to bring up every wrong over and over again. J is desperately trying to move past it. I fear my husband will never repair his relationship with his son. It was not fair to start a HUGE fight with J the night before his court date and my surgery, in fact it was selfish. He really wanted us to feel as miserable as he did at that moment.  I don’t care how much pressure he is under. His drinking is escalating and my respect is dwindling. I love him with all my heart but I can’t watch him verbally abuse anyone any more. J deserves a chance when he is trying so hard to change his life.

Looks like J under the advisement of his attorney  pleaded guilty to a 3rd degree felony and will receive probation and 75 hours of community service. I am so sad about the felony part. I don’t think he understands the gravity of that judgement just yet. Strange day. I just kind of ache, my heart, my body and my mind. Tomorrow I will feel better, I am sure.

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About madyson007

I am a mom of 4 who thought she was home free with her oldest son when he went off to college. My serious blunder? Genetics and being naive or maybe just plain stupid.
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8 Responses to Under pressure, literally and figuratively…

  1. Lisa says:

    I’m sorry you have to deal with your husband and surgery at the same time :(. Stay strong. The good news is your son is clean and trying. Who knows. Maybe some day he will be the one that helps your husband do the same! You never know what’s around the corner right?

  2. Barbara says:

    I hope they told you after your surgery to lie down flat until the carbon dioxide subsides because if you sit up it goes up into your shoulders and it hurts like HELL! I thought my shoulders were going to explode because my dr. didn’t warn me.

    I am sorry to hear that your husband’s drinking is causing so much pain in the family. I hope he someday realizes he needs help. Do you think J would go to Al-Anon meetings? You and him could go together.

    I know this may not be much of a consolation, but drug felonies are not nearly as bad as felonies for theft or any type of violence. Let’s hope our sons can rise above their felonies and not let it hold them back.

  3. Connie says:

    I hope you heal quickly! You have so much on your plate, and surgery on top of it. my goodness. Definitely sending prayer your way! My son ended up with a felony on his record as well. Hopefully it won’t stop him from living his life to the fullest. You’re all in my prayers!

  4. Renee C. says:

    I hope you are feeling better today. Sounds like J is on his way. I am proud of him and you!

  5. Momma says:

    Hope you are feeling better. I’ve had surgery in the past year too, so I know what you’re going through. But, it doesn’t last long. Don’t know how long you are supposed to stay off your feet, but it will force you to rest. Take advantage of that, take care of yourself, baby yourself.

    btw, I still hide any prescription drugs in the house to this day…

  6. Lisa Carp says:

    Mady, I hope your recovery from surgery goes quickly and without physical trauma for you. Sometimes it seems the recovery is worse than what caused the surgery! I spend a lot of time trying to focus on the good in my life and I hope you can do the same. J sounds like he is doing well. With regard to your husband’s issues, this will be where your ability to be less codependent will help you and J. It will be up to your husband to manage his situation and he will only get help and work on this if and when he is ready. Stay focused on your well being and you can assist J in staying focused on his.

    Bryan has made it through without felonies on his record (don’t know how, honestly) but my niece after 14 years of an addiction ended up with one that the Drug Court Judge could not expunge. Still, she is 2 years+ clean and just got engaged to be married. J is moving in the right direction and since you can’t do anything about the felony, give up the worry about it. You remain in my thoughts and my prayers and J really sounds like he is doing well.

  7. Kathy M. says:

    What your family is going through is very hard. I will keep you all in my prayers. I hope you feel better physically soon.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog. I really appreciated the comment you left there.

    Hugs to you.

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