I had surgery yesterday and J had court. I could have done without the extra pressure. I am feeling ok. My stomach is so bloated, I think I will feel much better once that goes away. I guess when you have laparoscopic abdominal surgery they inflate your stomach with carbon dioxide for easy viewing. It’s painful. I have my bottle of percosets under my pillow. J asked me to just hold on to them, he really did not want to run across them. He say’s he doesn’t believe that he would want any but really does not want to be tested. I really am proud of him.
My husband dropped J off at court and dropped me off at the hospital. I don’t think my husband realizes it, but he adds so much pressure to my life. I know I have touched on my husbands drinking “issue” but it is getting worse. When he is feeling any kind of pressure he drinks more than usual and we all pay for it. He is unreasonable and acts childish. He verbally tortures J and I feel so bad for all involved. I understand why he is so angry but it is not fair to bring up every wrong over and over again. J is desperately trying to move past it. I fear my husband will never repair his relationship with his son. It was not fair to start a HUGE fight with J the night before his court date and my surgery, in fact it was selfish. He really wanted us to feel as miserable as he did at that moment. I don’t care how much pressure he is under. His drinking is escalating and my respect is dwindling. I love him with all my heart but I can’t watch him verbally abuse anyone any more. J deserves a chance when he is trying so hard to change his life.
Looks like J under the advisement of his attorney pleaded guilty to a 3rd degree felony and will receive probation and 75 hours of community service. I am so sad about the felony part. I don’t think he understands the gravity of that judgement just yet. Strange day. I just kind of ache, my heart, my body and my mind. Tomorrow I will feel better, I am sure.