He is right…

I do not need to read his blog. I just wish there was a way to prevent him from reading mine without going to invite only. If I have to I will but I won’t be happy about it.  He implies that I should be honored to educate parents with my ignorance. He really is one very sick man.  He seems to not realize we learn from our failures just as much from our successes. That is all I am going to say on this subject and if dad4idiots oops I mean dad 4 truth is reading this please don’t comment here or if you could just keep yourself from reading my obviously intriguing blog…I would much appreciate it.

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About madyson007

I am a mom of 4 who thought she was home free with her oldest son when he went off to college. My serious blunder? Genetics and being naive or maybe just plain stupid.
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13 Responses to He is right…

  1. Ron Grover says:

    You are right, this is for you. The insight you get from writing is only eclipsed by the sharing and appreciation that comes from others.

    We could all take our blogs private to keep someone from commenting or angering us but think of what that does for us and others, we all lose. Dad 4 Truth is not the only one that has flamed my blog.

    I’d hate to think how lost Darlene and I would have been if no one had an open blog when we were looking. What would we have lost without even knowing. I’m sure there are people that read and learn from your words that you don’t even know. They do not comment they just read and learn.

    It amazes me. Since I began writing there have been over 220 people click to actively follow my blog. I have over 130,000 hits on my blog. When I post a new message usually within 3 days between 1500-2000 new hits. I once had a counter to count hits from different countries and I had hits from over 100 different countries across the globe, from every continent except Antarctica.

    Who are all these people? Why do they search for help, why do they read? The only thing I know is they are just like you and I. Struggling with this terrible disease that has afflicted our loved ones. I am glad they are searching, I am glad they are reading and commenting. And most of all I am glad they are searching for all of us to find answers no matter if I help, you help them or they help us.

  2. Dawn M. McCoy says:

    Ron makes some really good points. My decision to take my blog private was due to some custody issues and privacy issues regarding the situation in my particular family, with raising the grandkids. It was/is to protect THEM. That being said however, my blog was public for 10 years, and truthfully, I was one of the first to start blogging about an addicted daughter. I have deleted most of the posts over the years, I sometimes wish I had saved them! They were pretty raw, painful and horrid. Like Ron, I used to get emails from all over the world, back then, this crap was JUST getting started. I think you need to keep your blog open, and just ignore Dad4Truth. I also think it’s sort of like someone quitting smoking. They go on a rampage against smoking? maybe Dad4truth’s kid is clean now, and good! But really, although much of what he says is true, he says it in an arrogant fashion, and is very demeaning and superior. that doesn’t help anyone at all. Yah, maybe he has been there and done that, but then, so have alot of us now. Remember how many ppl here care, and remember how many of us can still tell the truth without being assholes!!! Stick with your blog, and ignore the idiot. don’t approve his comments and don’t READ them either. thats what the delete key is for LOL. ❤

  3. Barbara says:

    Honey, I don’t subscribe to his blog and if he comments anywhere I don’t bother reading because I know it will be full of self-righteous know-it-all bullshit that does more harm than good. Ignore him, he’s not worth getting upset about. Your blog is for you and the comments should be to support you out of care and concern. That doesn’t mean everyone will say what you want to hear, but they will say what they have learned because they CARE. Dadforwhatever seems to be an attention whore if you ask me.

    If he comments just hit DELETE and don’t even read it!!!

  4. Dawn M. McCoy says:

    I just found out last night about a new opiate treatment, after he is 10 days clean from opiates. It is called vivitrol and it is a shot they get once a month. Don’t know the cost, but it has an 86% success rate. cannot be abused, is not addictive. Go to the vivitrol website and use the dr locator to find one close to you. Don’t know the cost either, or if it is covered by insurance. sorry.

    vivitrol is the same drug used for alcoholics, but the FDA just approved it for opiate dependence on Oct 2010. maybe it will help J?

  5. Renee C. says:

    Stay strong and keep blogging. It helps you but it helps others too!

  6. Jeff says:

    Seems to me it’s not what he is saying, but much more, how he is saying it. Like it or not, it really is kind of hard to argue with the underlying substance as he very well may be right about much of what he says.

    Perhaps the best advice for you actually does come from Dad4Truth’s own Blog. Here is what it says:

    “I am the father of an adult child who suffers from the disease of addiction. I spend the great majority of my free time studying addiction and it’s impact on parents. I volunteer to answer a state crisis line and I speak to numerous groups about addiction. I am very active in a parent support group. Take what you find as helpful and forget the rest.”

    You’ll note he says “Take what you find as helpful and forget the rest.” Sounds like good advice to me. If you find none of it helpful, then forget it all!

    • Ron Grover says:

      Jeff,

      Sorry but it is what he is saying that is a problem. You should read more of his blog posts from the past. I’m personally very fine with take what you find helpful and forget the rest but that is not what he presents and his name calling is hurtful to many people. Personally I just shrug it off but some people cannot do that and there is no need to pile more pain upon someone that is already hurting.

      I’f you read back in Dad 4 Truth posting is isn’t about using what works. His post is about doing things his way and his way only and if you vary from that you are “murdering parents”.

      Addiction is an inexact science. If everything was known that is to be known about this disease we’d all be a lot further down the road towards finding a cure. So in the mean time it is everyones responsibility to learn as much about this disease as possible and do what they feel is right in their own situation. After all, sometimes this disease results in very tragic results in a most unfortunate timetable. No matter what the outcome each of us must prepare for that tragic outcome and make sure we do the whatever we must do to be able to live with ourselves if their is a tragedy.

  7. Lisa C says:

    I’ve been mulling over my thoughts about this all day. I agree with concepts from Dad4Truth…I agree that as a parent of an addict the more I learn about addiction, the more I can continue to love my son, while helping. And I understand that helping is different from enabling (something that I realize I’ve done too much of). The tools he suggests work for some, but not all of them work for everyone. That’s just a fact. And I don’t believe there is room for name-calling, ever.

    But I also know that living with addiction is like living with cancer. We go through stages, as we accept, deny, mourn, grieve (I’m not listing these emotions in order nor am I listing all of them). What having my blog is about, and what reading your blogs are about is for comfort, support, education, a place to vent, a place to grow and learn, etc. Therefore, I want all the comments (some of which I accept and agree with; and some that I just can’t accept or agree with).

    I don’t think any of us are experts (in the true sense of the word) because as Ron so eloquently said, addiction, at best, is an inexact science. What works for one, does not work for another (his son found Narconon unhelpful; but for Bryan, it seems to be the program that made the most impact). However, what I know is that part of what has helped me through this journey is to have all of you out there. Reading about your successes, your addicts successes, everyone’s relapses, everyone’s hopes has made a huge difference for me. And if once in awhile, I’ve writtten something either in my blog or in a comment that has made anyone feel a little better, that would be the icing on the cake!

    Keep writing, Mady, and keep sharing with all of us.

  8. Momma says:

    You are all so very wise, and Ron, you always seem to hit the nail on the head. I’m sorry that you all had to go through so much pain in order to become the bloggers that you are, but you are helping people… real people in the real world. Thank you!

  9. Terri H. says:

    So sorry to hear dFt is still spewing his venom. After he attacked me re: a comment I made here, I went & checked out his blog to see if he was just having a bad day or a total wad. Yep, he’s just one of those jerks that likes to hide behind “statistics & research” as if the data can’t be manipulated. I learned while working as an intern in a research lab that scientists can present data any old way they want, so stats mean a whole lot less to me now. You know what they say, Mady, some people build a taller building by tearing others’ down. Pay him no mind, he seems to get off by being shockingly rude, & you really don’t need this right now. Sending warm thoughts your way & prayers for your strength.

  10. Syd says:

    I think that there will always be those who don’t like what I write or what I comment. But I know that I do have the right to my opinion, even though it is different from another’s. We may not agree with the opinion, but I defend my right and that of another to express it. I think that controlling opinions are a different matter. I remind myself that I am powerless over people, places, and things. I hope that you will keep writing and expressing your opinions and thoughts.

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