Dear Mr Dad 4 Truth…

My response to you…

Really? Well your comments to me are like getting stabbed in the back. It must be nice being you. Your ability to sit in judgement on all things “addiction” is astounding. My blog is where i vent …some are rational posts some are not but all of those thoughts belong to me. You sound so very pleased with yourself. I am sure your superiority in all things addiction brings you great satisfaction in life. Using my blog as fodder for yours is disgusting. Sleep well, I know you will because people like you justify their actions, in the dark cloaked words “I am only trying to help her…”

I only have one more thing to ask, do you kick sick puppies too?

Advertisements

About madyson007

I am a mom of 4 who thought she was home free with her oldest son when he went off to college. My serious blunder? Genetics and being naive or maybe just plain stupid.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to Dear Mr Dad 4 Truth…

  1. Dawn M. McCoy says:

    u can make your blog private, by invitation only? that’s what I did. it helps, because then you know at least the people reading it are sympathetic to you and your situation, or you can just ignore him. I sometimes wonder if he even has an addicted child or is just ‘preaching’. I am considered pretty rough and a ‘tell them the truth no matter what’ person, but even I have compassion for the other parents who are hurting like I was 12 years ago. He goes too far. {{hugs}} and I am still praying for J and the rest of your family!

    • madyson007 says:

      I can honestly say Dawn, that there are things you say that I don’t like or sometimes even agree with but you have never offended me and I always learn something. You are able to be frank without being judgmental. It is an admirable skill to have. Thank you for commenting.

    • Ron Grover says:

      Dawn,

      I remember when I first began blogging it seemed like you were always beating me up but I understood from where you had been and today I so appreciate your counsel even more now. Be tough, none of us would learn what we need as quickly as we need without straight shooters.

  2. Ron Grover says:

    Dear Madyson,

    Don’t let it bother you. He used to pick on me too but each of us must and will find our own way. I just ignore his blog about blogs.

    Remember this, what you are writing is for and about yourself. When people comment there is no requirement that you follow all the recommendations. I remember from one of the Alanon meetings I went to the literature or someone told me “Take from this what works for you and discard the rest.”

    Truthfully Alanon wasn’t my thing but it works for many many people. Who am I to judge. Whatever works for you and your son, WORKS.

    Be strong keep writing as long as it helps you. Write for yourself. Do not write me or Dad 4 Truth or anyone else.

    As I said in one of my posts one day. There is more than one way to skin a cat, but none of our cats are exactly alike. They may be similar but sometimes they each need special treatment.

    There are proven processes that work in recovery but I am not one that believes every success has already been discovered. Keep working it.

  3. Ron Grover says:

    Left out a word, sorry.

    Do not write FOR me or Dad 4 Truth or anyone else.

  4. i used to get comments i didn’t like. sometimes i just read your blog and pray for you, sometimes i comment, i hope my comments never offend you. that has never ever been my intention.

    i think you are amazing i love how much you love your addict, one day i hope he will appreciate you too. my mother is gone now and she never ever shared any of this with me. non of the bad things i did to her or how i made her feel. i can reflect a lot through your blog and am honored that you give me a glimpse of what a parent goes through.

    i can’t imagine what my mother went through when i was out there, and she never told me. knowing gives me clarity of mind, that there is another factor we addict never think of when we are using.

    hang in there lady, you still amaze me with your strength and tenacity to endure such anguish at the hand of your child and still shine through. i am sure you don’t feel strong but your strength shines through in your writing. keep writing i know it helps. don’t let the black hearts stop you.

  5. beachteacher says:

    I agree with the others above. I once got into it with him too. I don’t think it’s at all helpful to be mean spirited, and that’s the issue I have with him. It’s actually helpful when parents of addicts that have been through this hellish journey to share knowledge with other parents/loved ones….especially those who are early on the pathway. But not helpful in any way to demean others or belittle them. How is that doing any good ? It doesn’t,…and the last thing a parent of an addict needs is more pain, or guilt,….just some guidance, even if it’s blunt and real,……and at times discouraging, but that’s very different than what you experienced in this situation.

  6. Lori says:

    I was over the top irritated when I read his blog and saw what he did to you. I even made a post about it on my blog. There is NO excuse for what he did. I am so sorry. {{{hugs}}}

  7. Cheri says:

    Madyson,

    There will always be “perfect” parents who “know all the right answers,” who have the ability to make others feel “less than.” And maybe they speak truth … but there is much to be said about speaking that truth in love, rather than in judgment. Learning how to love, really love, is a lifelong process. Please don’t allow one person’s deficit in the ability to love well reflect poorly on God, who knows how to love each of us exactly as we need to be loved, speaking truth with grace and mercy.

    In my opinion, if Dad 4 Truth felt the need to address your response to his “counsel,” he should have contacted you privately.

    For my own self, if I have ever made you feel “less than” or offended you in any manner, please forgive me. I have been in the shoes you are wearing now — both the shoes of the parent of an addict, and the shoes of feeling judged — and I would never purposely put anyone else in that place. It is that very judgment that my husband and I experienced in the body of Christ that gave birth to my husband’s and my desire to reach out to encourage other hurting parents.

    You, J, and your family remain in our prayers.

    Cheri

  8. Renee C. says:

    I hope you continue to blog, you have been a godsend to me and you are stronger than you know. I hope I have never offended you in any way and hope that my comments help to ease your pain if possible.
    I had stopped commenting awhile ago to these blogs myself as someone criticized my saying my daughter was “clean and sober” for 1 year. It was truly a wonderful moment for her as she is living her sobriety and so many others aren’t. I thought it would be some hope for others however I am not sure who it was but they trashed it. I took it too heart as we mothers do always and didn’t respond for awhile.
    People can give their opinion without being nasty or negative. You are just putting your feelings out there and they cannot be wrong because they are your thoughts and feelings. I hope that person stays off your blog or realizes what they do when they leave negative remarks but as you know even so called “friends” we though we had or family members criticize the way we are dealing with our addict child and some shun us like we have a disease. We must prevail. Keep praying and doing what you have to do to stay healthy. That is what J needs when he decides he wants to get clean. My prayers and thoughts are always with you. I thank you again for being there and hope we can meet sometime soon since we are only a state away. Hugs to you.

  9. Dawn says:

    I just wanted to remind you that Alanon is a very patient program. It is about progress not perfection and we all progress at different rates in every aspect of our lives. Sometimes you fall down. You pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again. There is no need for criticism. Afterall, it is principles above personalities!

  10. Renee says:

    I had trouble with him too and cut him off my blog so I didn’t spend the energy I didn’t have on him. This blogging community is a support group for many of us, don’t let one bad apple stop you from supporting others and getting support. Prayers going your way.

  11. Barbara says:

    You better not quit blogging!!! We all need each other….at least those of us who are here with good intentions.

  12. Erin says:

    I just read what he wrote and I am so sorry you were the most recent victim. I too have been where you are, I had left a comment on a blog and he did an entire post about it ripping it apart and then I removed my comments in response to what he did on his blog and then he did an entire post about that. In the midst of all of the chaos that I was going through at the time with my son this just added additional pain, I was already emotionally drained. Also, the advice that he gave me was the total opposite of what our counselor gave me. My son is actually doing well now, if I had followed the advice that Dad4Truth gave me my son would not be. No one can speak into someones life like that without actually sitting with the family, having all the facts, etc. I did glean much from many of the other blogs, mainly because their hearts were right, they would speak truth in love.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s