I realize now when I go back and read my last post, it could be interpreted as me being ridiculously naive. I was quoting J’s exact words, I was not stating a fact so everyone relax…I do not think that this is the ultimate answer to my prayers and all of J’s problems have been solved. I appreciate all of your concerns but I am not that oblivious anymore…I kind of liked it when I was.
I went to visit J and got there a little late because it took me a while to find the location, which in hindsight was a good thing. I spent about 35 minutes with J listening and talking. Of course when I got there he had changed his tune and wanted to come home and cried hysterically. It was horrible. He is in a lock down psych ward make no mistake about it. These are very ill and disturbed people. If this isn’t his rock bottom I don’t know what is. He started to try and bargain with me…it was a little bit pathetic. I had on my face of steel and it wasn’t even that hard to do because if this isn’t his rock bottom it certainly is mine.
I gave him the phone number for his mental health/substance abuse insurance program. I told him I was not willing to call for him. I told him I was totally fine if was not ready to do that but he could not come home. If he wanted me to get a number for a homeless shelter, I could do that for him. He looked at me like I had horns coming out of my head, told me I didn’t love him and wanted to talk to dad. I actually laughed out loud. He new I was dead serious and wanted to move on to a new target…his dad. Poor thing new deep down inside he wasn’t going to get any where with his dad because he is not the weak link…I am. BUT NOT THIS TIME!
I have not heard from him today and I am not sure I expect to but I really hope he has pulled himself together.
Update: He called. I think he has excepted the inevitable. No calls have been made to rehab yet but only because he has not met with the doctor/clinician in charge of his case yet. Why is that? This place is truly awful. I can’t help but think this will be a VERY memorable experience which is a good thing but, I am a little bit scared for him. He has good insurance and I can not help but think there is no hurry for them to get him any where. So please say a pray that things move in the right direction.