Nothing happened in court AGAIN! J continues to wait for court to be over so he can resume life or at least that is what he tells us but there is no end in sight. My husband who had a few beers last night got into a fight with J. A FREAKING fist fight which consisted of my husband punching J while I lunged between them. I got hit in the chest and have a big bruise on the left towards the center of my chest. My life is a spectacle that I am desperately trying to keep secret. I am tired of holding it all together.
Can I just tell you on the outside we look like the Leave It to Beaver Family! Well maybe more like The Keaton’s on “Family Tie’s” with a smidge of “Roseanne” thrown in for good measure. The point being I don’t think anybody knows this crazy life we are living. My seven year old was hiding under his bed last night. My 11 year had her door barricaded with the dogs inside for protection. I don’t know how much protection she thinks she is going to get from 3 and 7 pounds of fluff?
I like the big house I live in. I like the cars I drive and the vacations we manage to go on from time to time. I don’t want a divorce but I can not hold both my husband and son’s shit together at the expense of everyone else. I love them both but I am telling you if I could trade them in for a new and improved version…I would do it in a heart beat. I never thought my life would turn into one screwed up dirty little secret but that is the spectacle I call my life.
Look around at your neighbors…that wonderful family down the street with the white picket fence, golden haired children and fluffy little dogs could be hiding a deep dark secret of abuse of all kinds like alcohol, drugs, physical, mental…who knows!
My parents live in West Palm and my brother lives in Golden. I think I am going to look and see what real estate is going for around there. Some how I do not think I will be able to afford it as a divorced mom of 4 umm maybe 3.