I am failing miserably. I am unable to detach when J lives here at home. He appears to be clean but nothing is changing. He sleeps late, has no job and no motivation to get one. It was much easier to detach and not get emotionally invested when he didn’t live with us. Now it’s there laid out in all it’s ugliness and I can’t turn my head away from the scene. I am a rubbernecker! I am watching him throw another year of his life away and there is not a damn thing I can do about it! Court still hangs gloomily over his head with no end in sight and none of that has been resolved yet. Court is on the 20th, my husband is going to have to take a day off from work because depending on J to get there would lead to an ulcer for both of us. We are hugely financially invested in this court outcome and will not allow him to walk away from this and throw more money down the drain. If that is enabling then so be it… In hindsight should we have assisted him by paying for a lawyer. I honestly don’t know? I still have hope that J is going to squeak through all of this and put his life back together.
Secret wishes still remain:
- That he goes to college
- Finds a fulfilling job
- Finds happiness again
- Finds a girl who will love him as much as he love her
- Learns to be independent and take care of himself
Now I guess reality is pray fiercely for number 5 and hope that one day the other secret wishes will follow.