I am not above bribery…

I am coming up on 25,000 views on my blog. I thought this would once again be a good time for all of you to introduce yourselves. If you are an avid reader and a regular commenter tell us the basics and something you would like us to know about you. If you are a lurker, please come out of the closet and introduce your self even if you prefer to do it anonymously. It is a little strange writing a blog and know that complete strangers are reading it. Maybe let us know how you found this blog. Are you in some way a part of this world of addiction or does it just make for interesting reading? I have stumbled across blogs and read them and have become invested in their story even though I have really know connection to their world. I have just grown fond of them and want to know how they are doing. No judgements here just a curiosity and a desire to know who reads my blog. I can not believe that I have been blogging for a year! I also can not believe that we are a full two years into this hell called addiction.

To my faithful readers and commenters who are all part of this addiction journey, I appreciate and love you all. I am not sure you realize how much comfort I have gained from your comments and caring. So I am taking this time to say: Thank you for all that you do and may we all have a peaceful year filled with joy and happiness!

PS. Please leave a comment if you are reader number 25,000 and I will send you a Lollypop! I am not above bribing. :o)


About madyson007

I am a mom of 4 who thought she was home free when my oldest son went off to college. My serious blunder? Genetics and being naive or maybe just plain stupid.
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35 Responses to I am not above bribery…

  1. Dawn says:

    I am an avid reader, but no, I never comment. My husband is an alcoholic, so although our stories are different the struggles are similar. Thanks for putting your story out there!

    • madyson007 says:

      Thank you for reading Dawn. Alcohol, heroin, prescription drugs, gambling all can be an addiction nightmare. I am sure our struggles are similar. Praying for a peaceful year.

  2. Momma says:

    I just started reading your blog a couple of weeks ago. I feel your pain, my son is a recovering heroin addict, now sober for over a year. I started blogging a couple months ago, not sure why, I guess I thought I wanted to help others. But, it turned out I am getting more out of it than I thought, and I am being helped probably more than I am helping others. You’re right, it’s weird to share this with strangers, but it has helped me so far. Just being able to interact with other parents of addicts is comforting to me. It saddens me though too, and I find that I do better if I take a break once in a while. In the midst of all the sad stories, though I see hope, and as long as I can see that, I will keep blogging.

    Thanks for sharing!

  3. Kathy says:

    I started reading your blog a couple of months ago. My 22 year old nephew had just entered drug rehab for prescription drugs. He is out now, but has a long way to go because of old bills, no full-time job and a rocky relationship with his parents.

    • madyson007 says:

      My son will be paying for the repercussions of his bad decisions for many, many years to come. The unfortunate thing is somehow we all end up paying something…our hearts, money, faith all tested.

  4. Dawn M. McCoy says:

    Well,, we go back aways….LOL. For the newbie’s that read, I am Dawn, mother to four, one is a heroin addict. Custodial Grandmother to three. fighting heroin addicted daughter for almost 12 years now. Gave up on her, concentrate on raising her children.

  5. onemomtalking says:

    Hi. I’m Connie aka One Mom Talking. I don’t know if I’ve been here before but now I found you and I’m coming back! I have two sons (now ages 18 & 20) who are heroin addicts. We’re all in recovery.

    • madyson007 says:

      My heart goes out…one addict is torture. Two would put me in the ground. If you blog leave a link for us to visit. I am glad you are all in recovery. I have never really verbalized it but none of us in our family are in a formal recovery program. I do go to meetings every now and again but it doesn’t seem enough. I will work on that.

  6. Donna says:

    Hi, been reading your blog and several others for much of this year. Stayed a “lurker” cuz I’m a sandwich mom – my husband is an alcoholic and this past year has had several related hospital visits and my younger son is a heroin addict now into about 3 months of being clean. This past year he stole close to $5000 from us and pawned several items of great sentimental value as well as monetary. So, this has NOT been a fun year. Reading about others in the same boat has helped as well as my faith. Thank you, Madyson, for sharing your life thru your blog.

    • madyson007 says:

      Thank you for reading my blog. I don’t talk about my husband a lot but he is also an alcoholic. I guess that would make me a sandwich mom too. I will probably blog on it one day soon.

  7. heathersmom1 says:

    Hey, it’s Heather’s Mom. Heather is 20 (almost 21) and *used* to be addicted to OxyContin. Though she is not in any type of program, things are going well currently for us/our relationship. I am working on myself and attending Al-Anon meetings.
    I’m really just writing in hopes of winning a lollipop! hehe
    God bless.

  8. Syd says:

    I have been commenting here for a while. We are all working towards our own peace of mind. Fellow travelers. Thanks for what you share.

    • madyson007 says:

      I always love that you post and support me because I know you are a die hard Alanon follower and I tend to dabble in it. I believe in the philosophy…I just seem to have a hard time devoting to it. Yet you never judge me. I really respect that.

  9. Jeff says:

    I have stopped by to check up on you every now and then for about a year or so now. I was asked by you to please not post on your blog anymore – that after leaving comments, that I still stand by, but that you did not take too kindly to. I understand how it’s often hard to hear some things. I even more understand that sometimes I don’t say them as nicely as I should. So I have abided by your request, but still have continued to read and have always hoped for the best for you and your son.

  10. HerBigSad says:

    i visit regularly, comment now and then, and pray for you and your family daily! We are indeed trudging the same road, all of us at different points, and different speeds. Never give up hope! Happy New Year Madyson!!

  11. Lisa Carp says:

    I’ve been reading and commenting on your blog for some time! I am another kindred spirit with a son battling heroin addiction. And just for fun, my husband left me at the beginning of the year after 23 1/2 years of marriage. So I’ve been working on my recovery as an enabler and trying to learn how to be “alone,” after all these years. 2011 will start with my son moving home on January 9, after being gone for two full years…nervous doesn’t begin to describe how I feel, even with the fact that he is 14 months clean.

    I pray and feel for you and your family and all the other families that I read about. Happy new year Madyson!

    • madyson007 says:

      Lisa this is your year! All things are possible and you are going to thrive and be happy. I just know it. Your husband leaving may be the best thing that ever happened! You are to fine a lady not to find love again. You also must feel very proud of your son too…scared but proud I bet.

  12. Ajb says:

    I’ve only commented a few times so far but I’ve been reading your blog for a while. I am not in any program either but reading these blogs is very supportive for me and when I have no where else to go, this is where I derive comfort. My son is 21 and has been abusing drugs for years. He started with pot and alcohol at approx 16 though I did not know it at the time since he had been told all his life about his alcoholic grandfather and drug abuser uncles, one who died at age 41 after taking his own life. My son also has a chronic kidney disease since age 4. He recently graduated with the herculean effort from my husband, but that graduation was marred by my son being HIGH while graduating..a pyhrric victory of sorts. He almost didn’t make it and ended up walking in 25 minutes late, completely disheveled, a mess in front of his grandparents, sister, and other family members. This past Chritmas eve he topped his graduation by coming to my house with his girlfriend in a belligerent mood coming down. They were arguing and my son was acting very mean. I was upset and angry and hurt that he was behaving like this. I told him i could see he was on something which angered him and of course he denied it, but the eyes don’t lie and the behavior told the truth. His girlfriend let me know he had a lot of vodka and couldnt sleep so snorted heroin and took xanax too. Now he was going to go to church with us and ruin it for everyone by acting out with no regard to anyone. He entered the church where we were, talking bizarrely to his grandfather. He kept talking loud to his cousins and aunt and uncle, cursing, saying angry things to me. He was hurtful to his sister, age 23, who started crying. My mother, age 79, was crying. I ended up leaving early with my husband and daughter. He took more drugs while there, kept coming in and out of the church making a complete spectacle of himself. My nephew was able to finally keep him out until it was over. I have not spoken to him directly since then. He has a room for 1 month somewhere but i don’t know where he will be after that. He apologized to my parents but is still denying using. I no longer can emotionally take his trainwreck of a life. He has been blaming me for years now as i have become the scapegoat for all of life’s unfairness. He is no longer welcome in my home and we now have changed the locks. His credit card was cancelled which angered him. We have tried everything to help him these past 3 years but he has only gotten worse over time. I have been crying everyday for a long time now. This blog is one that I get solace from. Thank you for writing. I wish a more peaceful and hopeful new year to all reading.

    • madyson007 says:

      You really should consider blogging. Your story is familiar and painful and you have a voice! When I blog sometimes I feel such relief and can let go of all those feeling that threaten to swallow me…at other times I just feel comfort from those who care and leave messages. I am sorry that you are part of this world. I wish us all peace in the coming year.

      • Ajb says:

        Thank you for your reply. I think about blogging but I’m just getting used to commenting as it took me a long time to just get the nerve up to do that! I’m a chicken here and that’s why I am in awe at how you expose yourself for those who choose to read..I will never take that for granted and will cherish your trust in this reader and commenter. As for another crazy follow up to my son’s christmas eve debacle, he outdid himself again on New Years Eve..ended up in Manhattan with girlfriend, got in to a fight with a bartender after throwing a drink at him,got kicked out of the bar by bouncers, then taunted bartender from outside, bartender jumped over bar and came after my son and started to beat him. Cops came and cuffed them both. Son got ticket for “disturbing the peace” with a March court date, and then was let go. He decides to call us at 8am new years day to just say he is okay.. No details of what happened, just that he is alive. At 12:30pm we get a call from him from our local hospital. His phone died, his girlfriend hit a telephone pole, my son had just taken some ‘pills’ because he didnt want to hear her yelling at him. He hit his head on the dashboard and got out of the car. His gf gets out and starts screaming at him and starts to hit him and claw at his face. Firefighters come by and separate them. Cops give her breathalyzer which she fails. She and my son are taken by ambulance to hospital. His face is bloody and he has two black eyes. He gets ct scan and xrays done and then he is released. His gf gets charged with dwi a nd is taken to nearest precinct and held over night. My son gets picked up by my husband and taken back to the room he has renred for 1 month. After my husband leaves, my son decides to go to blockbuster to rent a movie however he gets lost and disoriented and tries to get back to his apartment but gets lost again and probably was driving erratically. Cops stop him, shine a light in his eyes and ask if he’s on drugs to which he replies, “no.” They search his pockets and find a percocet prescription which he had gotten earlier from the hospital! He tells the cops he was in an accident earlier as his face now has dried blood on it since he “wanted his girlfriend to see what she had done to him”. Thank God he hadnt taken any of the pills. The cops told him to shut up when he started to mouth off and then told him he can’t drive and has to call someone to pick him up which he did. So he basically had 3 incidents with cops in the span of 12 hours. He ended up having a concussion and hasnt driven since. My husband had to take him to a neurologist, he had to have an eeg and an mri because the doctor thinks he had a seizure. We still don’t have results. My son is going on job interview tomorrow morning! I can’t make this crazy stuff up if I tried. I just thank God no one was hurt. He owns his own car and insurance is in his name. Thanks for letting me tell you latest.

  13. Carol says:

    I’ve been coming here since your first post! I don’t always comment, but I feel like we are kindred spirits. My son is almost 22 years old and a heroin addict. He’s been forced into recovery at this point because he’s in prison. As of right now his release date is August of 2011. His addiction has cost him a LOT. His credit is ruined, he’s been incarcerated in some form for almost 2 years now. When he gets out, I don’t even know how he will go about rebuilding a life.

    I love reading your blog! I think about you and your son all the time, and wish you the best in 2011!!

    • madyson007 says:

      I don’t think these kids realize what addiction will cost them. We are stuck in limbo too…J is lost right now with no direction and a past that will haunt him the rest of his life. It will haunt us all. Thank you for reading!

  14. beachteacher says:

    I’ve been reading your blog for over a year now….first began with Ron’s, then Barbara’s,…then yours. I commented sometimes and then just recently began my own, finally. My son is 19 1/2 and a cocaine addict…has been in 4 rehabs (currently went to his 4th one on Dec. 19th),..has been arrested 4 times…still facing a charge on Feb. 25th that he has to come back home to go to court for. We’ve been through a long (over 4 yr.s) journey of pain,…he was very very into marijuana and was dealing constantly,..then went into coke and recently was completely controlled by it. He was always a very smart kid, as are so many of our kids,…then went downhill after his freshman year of high school. He’s the youngest of our 3,..he has an older sister (26) and brother (24) who aren’t addicts…both college graduates. They also tried drinking and smoking pot….as did his dad and I when we were young,..but didn’t become consumed by it, nor get arrested or steal from their family, pawn things etc. etc.. There were times when our son acted crazy and violent…it was all just so horrible. He’s now very motivated to change his life, and is going to a 1/2 way house after the treatment center,..but as we all know,…no telling what the future will bring. I appreciate your writing and you’ve personally helped me through the toughest thing I’ve dealt with in my life. I thank God and all of you for these blogs. You all understand in a way that no one else does,…even people that love me and my son and know us.

    • madyson007 says:

      I remember talking with you in a chat room with Barbara. I don’t think you know it but I was really down and you both picked up from a VERY dark place that day. I know exactly what you mean about people who love us and know us and wish us the best but don’t really understand the reality of living with and loving an addict.

  15. Jackie says:

    I’ve been reading you for a few months. I’m an 54 year old female alcoholic with nine months of sobriety.
    I have really been helped by reading the blogs of families of addicts. It helps me to fill in some of the dots

    • madyson007 says:

      Wow I feel good that anyone can connect dots from my ramblings. Congratulations on your sobriety please remember how precious it is and never take it for granted. I hope you continue to read. I am going to blog about my husband alcohol problem soon. I am just not sure exactly how to say it.

  16. Renee C. says:

    I am the mother of a 21 yr old recovering heroin addict. Well Heroin was the last drug of choice I should say. Today is one year since she asked for help. I have been living this right along with you and some other mothers for one year. You are my solace. She is one year sober today and I thank God every day for that but also know that it only takes one thing for her to go back. I have learned alot from your blog and the other parents from which I am eternally grateful. Even though we have never met I feel that you are such a part of my life. Thanks once again.

    • madyson007 says:

      Renee, I love hearing stories of hope. You are a very special lady…thank you for sending me supportive email messages. They ALWAYS brighten my day. Thank you for reading my blog and following me story.

  17. Terri says:

    I got started reading blogs related to recovery, etc during a time that I was separated from my husband. I left him b/c for 5+ years, our life changed dramatically due to his drinking. I guess reading the blogs gave me some comfort, like I was not alone, really. So when I find a blog I “enjoy” (not sure that is the right word) reading, I often click on blogs they follow, and I am sure that is how I found yours. While I can in no way understand from your perspective what you must go through when your child is the addict, I can certainly relate to the behavior they exhibit! No matter that my husband is in his late 50s, addiction can make him 19 again, I’m afraid. Yes, we did find our way back to one another again, and God and his program willing, he will be sober 3 years on 2/19.

    Why do I keep coming back? Because you write with such honesty. Whatever you are feeling, you put it out there, taking the risk of getting flamed, but forging ahead. I admire that. I’ve commented on a few of your posts, but giving advice is not something I like to do, so I only try to share when I have info that I hope might help you feel a little better. I hope you continue to keep writing and whatever feedback you do get makes you feel better in spite of the situation you are in.

    • madyson007 says:

      Thank you for reading my blog Terri. I also try not to give advice because, who am I to tell someone what I think or what to do. I don’t know that I necessarily feel like a failure but I do know our family has not achieved much success lately either. We all just keep plugging along.

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