I read Ron’s blog today and felt such empathy for the situation his son finds himself in…living the fragile sober life and still paying the price.
My husband has decided that the only answer for my son’s future is for him to go into rehab. Now I am not opposed to this at all. Here is where the problem lies…I will not force or coerce my son into rehab. (Actually if I thought it would work…I would take him there by gunpoint BUT, I know unless J see’s rehab as the solution to his problem and not a punishment, it is not going to work).
My husband will SCREAM at my son “You have thrown your life away, Get a job! Go back to school! Fix it!” I cross my eyes because I am really not sure what he expects J to do exactly?
J’s life is pretty close to what it was a year ago only he is not using any opiates. I really am not sure about anything else. Remember I shared that he called a week a go in tears because he has come to the realization that he is stuck. Well the truth is he really is stuck…he has no car, no phone, lives in the middle of no where and has no ability to change any of those things. So he does nothing…it is all to overwhelming for him and it is to easy for him to sit back and do nothing. Again, I cross my eyes because I am not really sure how to help him, help himself. I know it sounds like enabling but I am seriously not talking about fixing it. I am talking about giving him some tools to help himself because this is a dead-end, with not a lot of hope going on. All these doors that slam shut on recovering addicts is really an unfortunate thing. Digging themselves out of the hole they dug is a MONUMENTAL task under the best of circumstances and let’s face it part of an addicts weakness is his in-ability to see the big picture and plan beyond the end of their noses.
My husbands answer is to force him into rehab and then give him help…and it really is not at all clear to me what kind of help my husband is offering. I just know that this is not going to work. He may even eventually force J into rehab but it will not be the answer until J decides it is.
I know the answer lies with J. Only I am not sure what the question should be?