Crash and burn is hard lesson for us all…

I keep hoping things can change and crashing won’t be necessary but I don’t think J feels things are different other than the location he sleeps in. He has another family who caters to his eccentric sleep habits and low energy. I try and stay out of his life as much as possible but I can’t seem to totally relinquish my need to try and control the situation. He lives his life in the moment never seeing past the end of his nose. I will have to let him crash and burn before he see’s that although I have hard time letting go completely, things are different. I am willing to watch him fail and make poor choices and feel the pain of those choices. In the hope that he can find himself as a grown up. I don’t believe anymore that it will be possible for him to do that while I make doctors appointments and beg him to re-fill his prescriptions and offer to make him dinner.

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About madyson007

I am a mom of 4 who thought she was home free with her oldest son when he went off to college. My serious blunder? Genetics and being naive or maybe just plain stupid.
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4 Responses to Crash and burn is hard lesson for us all…

  1. Renee C. says:

    Sounds like you are getting there and he wont be able to unless you let go of those things. I know you want to help him, I did the same thing with my daughter. She actually one day said, Mom, let me do this. If I am going to get better, I need to do everything for me. She is now paying her own bills on her own (somehow got a checking acct. on her own) working maybe two jobs as of next week and re-enrolling in school part time. Her heavy involvement in NA has brought her to this point. I hope J is getting involved in NA and working his program. Of all the stories I have heard that is what helps them the most and us not enabling them. Even though it hurts to let go, we must! Hugs to you!

  2. Syd says:

    I agree. The idea that someone else can be responsible and that I don’t have to take care of them by doing things for them is a powerful revelation. And even more will be revealed as I simply let go.

  3. Lisa C says:

    I don’t have anything else to add except I agree 100% with both Renee and Syd. Generally speaking the growth you are likely to see in J once he starts to take control and have successes (not everything will be a failure although you may think so) is the real eye opener for everyone.

  4. Sue G says:

    I think of you often and tonight you are particularly on my mind. I can almost feel the pain of this roller coaster you are on, knowing that your day can be determined by something or someone you don’t even see in the moment. The pain is palpable. I pray that it will lessen, ebb, dissipate. My concern is that some days the best you can look forward to is that it transforms into a dull ache. It is not what you planned for your life or for the lives of your family members. Just never stop knowing that God can change a heart. You can want it. But He can do it.

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