Court today…

I am feeling such anxiety this past week but especially today. That ill feeling where your heart races and your mouth is dry and you can barely swallow. I can not seem to relax no matter what I do. So I thought I would blog and try to let some of this go. It is kind of strange. I realize it is normal to feel this way when your child is going to court but logically I also know, nothing is going to be decided today.  This is just the preliminary stuff.  I want to detach because this is a terrible feeling but my body will not let me.  It is like that fight or flight feeling and I hate it.  If I had a Xanax I would honestly consider taking it right now. Blogging is not working at all…I am just working myself up into a full blown panic attack.  I am going to try to go for a walk.

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About madyson007

I am a mom of 4 who thought she was home free with her oldest son when he went off to college. My serious blunder? Genetics and being naive or maybe just plain stupid.
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13 Responses to Court today…

  1. Ron Grover says:

    I feel your pain. I would get SO angry every time my son went to court and I was sitting there watching it and seeing what went on. I finally decided why do I do this????

    I wasn’t there when he committed the crime. I taught him not to do what he did. He didn’t ask my advice on solving his issue that caused him to get into that situation. He is a big boy/man.

    I now let him face the music alone. I stopped going to court and if he needs a ride I drop him off in front of the courthoouse and either read in the car or go do something else and tell him what time I will be back. I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER NOW ON COURT DAYS.

  2. Helga says:

    So sorry you are having a hard day. I have been to court with my daughter only once. I could only take it once seeing her brought in dressed in an orange jail suit and handcuffed and shackeled to the other girls/women they brought from jail to the court room. I mind my own business now and she has to deal with hers.

  3. Lisa C says:

    Going to court with my son is one of the few experiences I have not had. But I think that Ron’s response as well as Helga’s makes sense. I especially like that Ron found a boundary he could live with. He’s willing to drive him but not willing to go in.

    Do your best to take care of you.

  4. Donna says:

    I went to court with my son when he was a juvenile, now that he is an adult he goes alone. Thankfully, he has somehow avoided going to court for quite some time. He is on probation, but aside from occasional emails I do not have any contact with his probation officer either. His choices – his life. Not to say I don’t pray constantly and speak my thoughts when I think he is receptive, but this truly is his life not mine. But I understand your frustration and anxiety – we parents want to “wave the magic wand” and make everything all right and we can’t.

    Hope your walk helped, try a long bubble bath next?

  5. beachteacher says:

    I HATE going to court….and have been there many times with my son. You all give me strength though. I don’t plan to ever go again. Right now he doesn’t have any more court dates anyway….which, of course, is wonderful. Also right now, he’s in jail,..doing one of 7 weekends that he was sentenced to. Good post,…no more court for me. Thank you.

  6. Keeping you and your child in my prayers. I cannot imagine what it must be like as a mother of an addict. I am a former addict and put my mom through hell and back before finally getting clean. Now I am a mother and the thought of one day my son doing drugs scares the living crap out of me. I’m so sorry you are going through this.

  7. cdcb says:

    Praying for you. I don’t have much to add other than to say that Dad and Helga have hit it on the head…and sometimes the only thing you have to remember to do is breathe…just breathe.

    Carolyn

  8. Syd says:

    A walk and maybe no more court sounds good to me.

  9. I don’t go to court anymore either – haven’t since he became an adult. When he was a juvenile I was required to go, but not anymore. No probation appointments either. I would drop him off there if need be, and pick him up later, but never go in. I just couldn’t do it anymore – too maddening!

    So anyways, how did it go???

  10. my son did not show up for court and now has a warrant. the hole he digs seems to get deeper each day.

    daisy

  11. Josh says:

    Last year when I had my big court case going on, my parents only went because they wanted to make sure I was there…because if I would have failed to appear they would have been out for $20,000 for the bond they co-signed on for me.

    Court sucks. I hope everything goes well for your son.

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