Our neighbor died…She was 51 years old and had a heart attack. She was a wonderful caring woman who worked for visiting angels for the elderly and did hospice work. Her son PJ was J’s best friend. He was one of J’s friend that stuck around for a very long time through all the drama that surrounds an addicts life. I think if J gets his act together, PJ will be one of the very first friends who will come back. J is going to go to the wake and pay his respects because it is the right thing to do and I know he feels so bad for his best friend but I guess he feels awkward as well. I know J is bewildered by PJ’s abandonment but me… I am not so bewildered because if he wasn’t my son I might have abandoned him at some point too.
J appears to be doing very well. He is clean but is not working. He says he is looking for a job and looking to apply to schools. I told him very clearly he would have to go to county for two years and then he can look into other things. He is trying to keep away from people places and things and it seems to be working. It is much easier for me to detach with love when he is not living in my house. I am going to use Syd’s advice as my new mantra. Keep expectations low and just enjoy the moment when things are good.