Keep expectations low and just enjoy the moment…

Our neighbor died…She was 51 years old and had a heart attack.  She was a wonderful caring woman who worked for visiting angels for the elderly and did hospice work.  Her son PJ was J’s best friend.  He was one of J’s friend that stuck around for a very long time through all the drama that surrounds an addicts life.  I think if J gets his act together, PJ will be one of the very first friends who will come back.  J is going to go to the wake and pay his respects because it is the right thing to do and I know he feels so bad for his best friend but I guess he feels awkward as well.  I know J is bewildered by PJ’s abandonment but me… I am not so bewildered because if he wasn’t my son I might have abandoned him at some point too.

J appears to be doing very well.  He is clean but is not working.  He says he is looking for a job and looking to apply to schools.  I told him very clearly he would have to go to county for two years and then he can look into other things.  He is trying to keep away from people places and things and it seems to be working.  It is much easier for me to detach with love when he is not living in my house.  I am going to use Syd’s advice as my new mantra. Keep expectations low and just enjoy the moment when things are good.


About madyson007

I am a mom of 4 who thought she was home free when my oldest son went off to college. My serious blunder? Genetics and being naive or maybe just plain stupid.
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8 Responses to Keep expectations low and just enjoy the moment…

  1. Donna says:

    I am so sorry to hear about your neighbor, she sounds like a very caring person and a good neighbor. I hope your son can reconnect with his friend and be a friend to him during this hard time.

    Yeah, I would say definitely enjoy the good time, hope it lasts, but be realistic (I know it sucks, but fantasy just leads to disapointment).

  2. madyson007 says:

    I think I have run out of fantasy… I liked it much better when I was delusional. LOL

  3. cdcb says:

    Sorry to hear about your neighbour’s passing. These moments in life can be so difficult.

    I agree with you…Despite the drama that has gone on it IS a hundred times easier to detach when they are not living under your roof. At the moment I don’t want it any other way.


  4. Syd says:

    I have had to keep expectations low. If I am pleasantly surprised then that’s great. I am very sorry about your neighbor. She was too young to die.

  5. Barbara says:

    Sad about your neighbor, that’s way too young 😦 It reminds me to make the most of every day because you just don’t know when your last will be.

    I am hoping that attending the wake has some sort of positive affect of J – like for example makes him realize how fortunate he is to have his family. If he’s anything like Keven he knows that, but its not deep enough inside him to motivate him to want to treat them better 😦

  6. Lisa C says:

    First, I’m so sorry about your neighbor. I can only believe that God truly needed her now, because 51 is very young.

    I am praying for J to move forward with his life. One of the biggest changes that I saw in Bryan (this time around) was the fact that as he got clean, he had something concrete to go into (working at the Facility). I really believe (anecdotally of course) it made a difference. After all the previous rehabs and treatment, he floundered with nothing to do. “Idol hands are the devil’s tool.” So my prayer for him tonight is to move forward with his life; and my prayer for you is to continue with cautious optimism and hope.

  7. I’m sorry for your loss. Praying you and your neighbor’s family finds comfort through God in this difficult time. It sounds like J is doing good, I pray he continues on the road to recovery.

  8. Renee C. says:

    Thinking of you. Very sad about your neighbor. Just reminds us that we must cherish and enjoy every day.

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