Heather’s Mom really got me thinking when she left me a comment on my last post. I realize that my secret expectations for J are still there. You know the one where he goes back to college, gets a wonderful job and supports me in my old age 🙂 …ok well maybe that’s taking it a bit far but you know what I mean. When he starts to look and act umm “normal” for lack of a better word…I start to feel all my great expectations coming back which is stupid on my part because I am setting him up to fail and for me to be disappointed AGAIN. It’s easy to let go of those expectations when your addict is a “train wreck” but what about when he starts to recover? I need to recognize that this is my problem not J’s. He is already adjusting his life accordingly and expecting him to do it on my time schedule or doing it the way I think he should be doing it…is dangerous thinking on my part. Pure and simple he needs to come up with a plan and a way to accomplish it and if I want to have a healthy relationship with him I am going to have to accept and support him in it. Wow don’t I sound enlightened? When did this happen?
I do realize this may be a step forward and you all can remind me of it when I take 5 steps back…but I’m trying really I am.
PS I take back the enlightened healthy part…apparently not so much? Comments from wise parents say otherwise. Damn and I thought I was doing so well. ;o)